Metta Meditation, Nervous System Regulation, and Grounded Action in Polarized Times
Original writing from two blogs in 2021
We are living through a moment that feels like a birth canal.
Tight. Intense. Uncertain. Necessary.
Across the country and the world, systems are straining. The political and cultural divide feels raw and personal. It’s easy to get swept into outrage, despair, or helplessness.
And yet — from a wider evolutionary lens — this dismantling may not be “wrong.” It may be part of a painful restructuring.
So the real question becomes:
How do we stay grounded and compassionate during divided times?
How do we hold the light without burning out?
How to Stay Grounded When the World Feels Out of Control
One of the foundations of my Stress to Strength framework is simple:
When you feel powerless, focus on what is within your control.
You cannot single-handedly repair political polarization.
You cannot force awakening in others.
You cannot stabilize every system that appears to be unraveling.
But you can regulate your nervous system.
You can direct your attention.
You can choose your energetic response.
And that is not small.
Nervous system regulation is not avoidance. It is the foundation of embodied action. When we are dysregulated — anxious, reactive, collapsed — our behavior is driven by fear. When we are grounded, our responses become intentional.
This is where lovingkindness meditation — Metta — becomes profoundly practical. It’s both an action, to send that good juju, and a personal regulation aid. Because there are ways the outside is a mirror of what’s lurking inside.
The Macro and the Micro Are Happening at the Same Time
While the world moves through its collective birth canal, something else is happening too — at the micro level.
Recently, I saw more clearly how, at eight years old, I unconsciously took on the role of emotional rescuer in my family. In a child’s logic, I believed that if I worked hard enough, achieved enough, stayed vigilant enough, I could stabilize the adults around me.
That strategy translated into competence and drivenness. It also translated into fear-based urgency.
Now, when the world feels unstable, that old survival program can activate: work harder, push more, don’t rest, hold everything together. But what kept a child feeling safer does not create embodied presence in an adult.
The global upheaval and our personal healing are not separate processes.
When the outer world feels out of control, we are invited to inquire about our inner work. Hmm, how am I resisting an uplevel? How am I avoiding what’s true and needs attention?
This is advanced practice.
Metta Meditation as Energetic Action
Lovingkindness meditation (Metta) is often misunderstood as passive or sentimental. It is neither. It is disciplined energetic training.
Step one: Send lovingkindness to yourself.
Without self-compassion, activism turns into burnout.
Step two: Extend those blessings to those you love.
This transforms worry into conscious goodwill.
Step three: Extend lovingkindness to those you struggle with.
This is the advanced practice — and a form of peace work.
This does not mean agreement. It does not mean bypassing harm.
It means refusing to let hatred, anxiety or depression take over your nervous system.
Prayer practices like Metta are powerful precisely because they allow us to take meaningful action where we lack direct control. We cannot always change external events — but we can shift the quality of energy we bring to them.
Compassion practice strengthens emotional resilience. It stabilizes the body. It widens perspective. It allows you to hold the divide without becoming the divide.
That is action.
Nervous System Regulation Before Reaction
Many thoughtful, sensitive people feel exhausted right now. They want to act. They want to contribute. They want to be responsible.
But action without regulation is often fear in disguise.
I’ve had to notice this in myself — the tightening, the urgency, the subtle belief that if I just do more, I will feel safer or will one day complete the list 😂.
That is an old survival imprint.
The adult practice is different:
Pause.
Breathe.
Feel your body. Feel what’s stressful or worrisome.
Offer Metta.
Then see if an action is needed, or beckons.
Grounded action carries power. Fear-driven action carries depletion.
Amusement Is Also Medicine
In intense evolutionary periods, you can forget the role of humor. I know I’ve been taken myself soooo seriously.
The image that came to me lately is a chimpanzee — playful, expressive, unafraid to make a ridiculous face and crack people up. Leaping from tree to tree – and somehow that leaping, taking that risk, was part of it.
Amusement regulates the nervous system.
Play disrupts fear cycles.
Laughter restores perspective.
Holding the light does not require you need to be super serious at all times.
Sometimes it requires a monkey face.
Photo Alex Day, Unsplash
Three Grounded Practices for Polarized Times
If you’re wondering what to do when the world feels overwhelming:
1. Regulate daily.
Level 1 – eat move sleep meditate. Ground yourself. Notice your emotional state. Connect to your values. Embodiment is foundational. (See the 3 Levels of Healing diagram and how these work in Life Enhancing Therapy.)
2. Practice Metta meditation and other favorite tools.
Send lovingkindness to yourself, your loved ones, and — when ready — those who challenge you. This builds compassion and nervous system resilience. (More on lovingkindness meditation practice – 2021 blogs)
3. Take aligned civic action. Get support when needed.
If you feel called, use structured tools to contact representatives or stay informed (check out the Americans of Conscience checklist that comes out several times a month, including inspiration and good news). Act from steadiness, not panic.
We are living through a collective growth edge.
The divide is real. The tension is real.
But so is the opportunity to deepen embodiment.
Metta is training for meeting reality with an open heart.
May you be at peace.
May your heart remain open.
May you awaken to the light of your own true nature.
May you be healed.
May you be a source of healing for all beings.
And when needed —
may you remember to make a monkey face at the darkness.
Yours truly,
Denise Barnes, LPC, Rev
RESOURCES:
The year of the Fire Horse starts 2/17/26 at 5:01 am Mtn Time.
Here is Richard Rudd of the Gene Keys with a compelling read of this year’s Chinese New Year symbol, Contemplation on the Year of the Fire Horse.
Article by Jose Stevens of The Power Path, Can We Fix This World?
Another view on the Fire Horse Year, by Gaela Morrison of Forces of Nature Design, featured on The Power Path website.