One of my favorite inspirational / daily prayer books is Pocketful of Miracles: Prayer, Meditations, and Affirmations to Nurture Your Spirit Every Day of the Year, by Joan Borysenko. I can’t sing enough praises for it – the wealth of practices she covers from tons of traditions, the wonderful voice she has through the prayers and the evolution psychology she’s wrought – she’s the real deal. I had the pleasure of going to Egypt with her as the co-facilitator of a tour in 2010. I’ve personally experienced her brilliant light and creative spiritual side.
In the book, each month has a theme she develops, and each day has a seed thought, plus a prayer/practice. February’s theme is lovingkindness. One of the main practices is the Metta meditation. It occurred to me that this practice imitates positive evolution of the self. You first send the love to yourself – without this, you can’t really give much love to anyone or anything self. OK maybe pets are the exception – those unconditional receivers… Then you send the blessing to loved ones. Then… heh heh, you send Metta to those pesky people who well, probably are your teachers or growth pushers. Damn them! They’re a little harder to bless, right?
Here is an example of the entry of February 12th, talking about the self-love and the loved ones blessing:
Seed Thought: We can only love others to the degree that we have opened our hearts to ourselves. It is not selfish to bless ourselves first, because if our heart remains closed we have nothing to give. The most selfless prayer is to awaken so that we can serve others and help alleviate the suffering that comes from ignorance of our unity with the Big Mind of God.
Prayer/Practice: The second step of Metta extends blessings to our loved ones. Repeat yesterday’s practice of wishing the lovingkindness blessings for yourself, and then bring a loved one to mind. See them in as much detail as possible, imagining the Light of God shining down on them and washing through them, revealing the light – the Godseed – within their heart. See the light grow brighter, merging with the light of God and enclosing them in the egg of light. Then bless them:
May you be at peace, May your heart remain open, May you awaken to the light of your own true nature, May you be healed, May you be a source of healing for all beings.
Repeat this for as many people as you wish. If worried thoughts about loved ones occur during the day, take a minute to send them a lovingkindness blessing rather than a fearful thought.
For my clients, that first step of self-love is a big one to heal. Very important to reverse the training to be critical or hard on yourself. Often you know what to do to destress or practice self-care, but the critical voice first wants to lambast you for being so bad at doing it regularly. This may be a main reason meditation practices don’t get off the ground – a main part of stress management!
Don’t listen, just do the thing. Thank the voice even – it’s trying to look out for you, albeit in a twisted, non-useful way, lol. Sigh.
I also love it that the second step can replace worry thoughts you might have for others – and for yourself. Worry is so hard on your mind and body. And again, usually not useful. Yes, it can show caring. But how about sending light and good wishes instead? That is a fine blessing and much more useful.
Speaking of blessings. Shout out to Joan Borysenko – for all her scholarship and innovation in the world of mind/body psychology. What a brilliant mind and heart. Thanks Joan!!
And you reader – what other ways have you discovered that transform worry? What prayers help you practice self-love and compassion? Next blog I’ll cover that third step of Metta – sending blessings to those pesky PIAs that help you grow. Super advanced and not for the faint of heart! Stay tuned…