When Your Soul Outgrows Your Role

When meaningful work begins to ask more of you

Many of the women I work with aren’t trying to escape bad careers. Quite the opposite.

They’ve built meaningful work. They’ve become respected. They’ve helped countless people. Looking in from the outside, most people would probably think, “She’s got it made.”

Which is exactly why the next season can feel so confusing.

Because the question is no longer: “What should I do?”

It’s: “Why doesn’t what used to fit… fit anymore?”

Sometimes this happens to leaders whose work has gradually lost its spark. Sometimes they’re weighed down by responsibilities that no longer match their strengths. Sometimes a merger, organizational changes, or poor leadership slowly erodes the joy they once felt.

Monday morning starts arriving a little too soon. The heaviness follows you home.

The parts of life that once brought you joy quietly move to the bottom of the list.

I also see this with therapists, coaches, and health professionals.

They genuinely love helping people. They’ve built thriving practices. They’re making a difference.

But over time, one-to-one work can begin to feel unsustainable. The constant holding of others, the repetition, the pressure to keep filling the calendar—it can become exhausting, even when you still love the work itself.

So what’s really happening?

Why is it that just when you’ve reached a professional peak of competence and a more comfortable income, something inside begins whispering:

“There’s something more.”

“Damn It… I Was Just Getting Comfortable.”

This certainly doesn’t happen to everyone.

But my hunch is that those who are here to make a meaningful contribution aren’t necessarily here for a lifetime of comfort.

There always seems to be another invitation. Another edge. Another summit.

I used to find that frustrating. Now I’ve come to see it as part of the path.

Reaching one level of success doesn’t prevent evolution. Sometimes your soul quietly outgrows the role you’ve built.

Sometimes the next chapter isn’t about working harder. It’s about becoming more fully yourself—and allowing your work to evolve alongside you.

I’ve Been Following This Trail for a Long Time

I first noticed this pattern in my twenties.

After waiting three years following high school before beginning college, I eventually enrolled at an all-women’s Catholic college in New Jersey.

It took nearly two years – and joining the softball team -for my herbal-tea-drinking, slightly unconventional self to find my people. And then…

I transferred to Naropa. (More about that time of life, and the help from Margo Figgins.) It looked unexpected from the outside. Looking back, it was simply the next summit calling.

More recently, I experienced another version of this.

This summer I attended an intensive business retreat to strengthen the foundations of my own work. Since returning, it’s been a whirlwind of integrating what I learned – revising my website, clarifying my message, and allowing years of experience to come together in a clearer way.

Eight years ago, another summit appeared when I trained in Trauma-Informed Hypnotherapy. At the time, I already felt comfortable with the therapy I was offering. People were progressing and there was a tool for every challenge they faced.

That training changed everything.

It transformed not only how I worked, but how I understood lasting change. Every meaningful growth edge has asked something of me before it offered something back.

Growth Isn’t Always Comfortable

I’ll admit it. I’m still not one of those people who claims to love change and eat uncertainty for breakfast. I’m much more likely to say,

“Really? Another growth edge?”

And yet… I’ve also learned that growth rarely arrives to punish us.

It arrives because life is inviting us into a fuller expression of who we are.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek more ease, more balance, or more rest. Please, yes! I’d like plenty of all three before I’m dead.

But I’ve stopped expecting life to become permanently comfortable. Instead, I’ve begun asking a different question:

What is this next season asking of me?

Perhaps You’re Standing at Your Second Summit

If anything I’ve shared resonates with you, perhaps you’re standing at one of these thresholds too.

Perhaps you’ve built a meaningful career. Perhaps others admire what you’ve created. And perhaps a quiet part of you knows there’s another way your work wants to grow.

Not because you’ve failed. Because you’re evolving.

This autumn I’ll be opening a small coaching group called Radiant Work Circle for women standing at exactly this kind of threshold.

Women who know they’re being called toward deeper, more aligned work—but who also recognize that the biggest obstacles are often the inner ones.

The second-guessing. The fear of leaving behind what’s already working. The old identities that no longer quite fit.

If that’s you, I’d love to share more over the coming weeks. Until then, thank you for being here.

I hope you’re thriving. And if life is quietly inviting you toward your own second summit, I hope you trust yourself enough to listen.

Big blessings your way.

Namaste. Aho. Amin. Amen.

With love,

Denise

Resources

Book, David Brooks, The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

Book, Tom Rath, What’s the Point? Turning Purpose Into Your Daily Superpower

Book, Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level