As we approach the end of the year, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we find clarity, balance, and genuine alignment—especially when life feels full. I wanted to share a framework I use personally and with clients that helps make goals and healing feel more grounded and doable. It’s called the Balanced Brain approach to life and goals, and it includes logic and creativity. I think you’ll find it both comforting and illuminating – if you like surprises!
Your Brain, in Simple Terms
You’ve probably heard me talk about the “logical brain” and the “emotional brain.” These are two very different systems with different functions, perspectives, and ways of learning. And what neuroscience has revealed over the last 15 years gives us powerful insight into why change can be so hard—and how we can make it easier.
The logical brain (our prefrontal cortex) is verbal, rational, and linear. It loves checklists, goals, and problem-solving.
The emotional brain (the mammalian brain, more closely linked with the reptilian brain) is nonverbal and experiential. It learns through:
- repetition
- association
- sensations
- felt experience
This is why you can “know better” and still repeat old patterns—because many habits, trauma imprints, and attachment patterns are stored in the emotional brain. Talking alone doesn’t always reach them.
This matters deeply in therapy, in coaching, and also in everyday life. When your logical brain wants one thing but your emotional brain doesn’t buy in, change feels hard, inconsistent, or draining. When both are aligned, change becomes smoother and more sustainable.
I first saw this years ago when I worked as a money coach. I used to say there are two sides to building abundance:
- the practical steps (balancing the checkbook, planning), and
- the magical side—the mindset, energy, and attraction work.
Both matter. Both must be included.
Healing, goals, and daily life work exactly the same way.
A Personal Example
I used the Balanced Brain approach often myself – while planning this newsletter, while touching base on what I want to complete in December—our last (very short!) month of the year.
I invite you to try this with me.
Step 1: Logical Brain Check-In
I first asked my logical brain what felt most important to complete this year. It named three goals:
- Finish several projects I’ve already identified.
- Declutter and organize, both home and business systems.
- Continue my “affairs in order” work, creating more clarity and simplicity.
These are solid, practical, and rational—exactly what the logical brain is designed to give. And I notice my logical brain loves loves loves to focus on work and business goals. Hmmm.
Step 2: Emotional Brain Check-In
Then I checked in with my emotional brain—using intuition, image-based awareness, and felt sense. It named three very different goals:
- Tune up my schedule to make it saner and more supportive, and strengthen my meditation practice.
- Return to dating, which my logical brain tends to deprioritize in favor of work.
- Plan my next mobile-work trip, to include rest and connection with loved ones.
Here, the emotional brain highlighted desire, nourishment, and the areas I might be avoiding. It also showed me what brings vitality and meaning—not just productivity. Yes, there is structure in there, re: the schedule, but with attention to making the day-to-day foundation connect with meaningful activities.
Now I had six meaningful goals and limited time. Ha! Great!
This is where tools like muscle testing, prioritizing/eliminating by energy checks, or doing “a little bit of each” can help. But more importantly, it showed me how differently each part of the brain registers priorities. We tend to just listen to logic.
When we listen to both, we build a life that’s not just productive—but balanced, joyful, and aligned. Even to just run logical brain goals by the heart, can tweak the plan slightly toward a more beneficial, balanced approach.
Why This Matters for You
Understanding your logical and emotional brain helps you in at least three major ways:
1. It reduces self-blame.
If you’ve struggled to change something, it’s not because you’re lazy, resistant, or broken. Often, your emotional brain simply hasn’t caught up—or hasn’t been spoken to in the way it understands.
2. It explains why healing is layered.
Deep patterns live in the emotional brain. That’s why healing old trauma or attachment wounds takes time and often requires experiential or body-based approaches.
3. It helps you set goals you can actually complete.
When both brains say “yes,” you feel:
- clear
- motivated
- grounded
- less conflicted
- more energized
This is alignment. And aligned goals are the ones that actually get done. Progress on what matters means you’ve got the emotional brain “buy in” for what you’ve set out to accomplish.
Tools for the Road: The Body–Mind–Heart Meditation
One of the most effective ways to communicate with the emotional brain is through the Body–Mind–Heart Meditation, which I’ll also include as an audio. Here’s the simple structure so you can begin now.
1. Body Check-In
Close your eyes and scan from head to toe. Notice:
- strength
- tension
- sensations
- overall physical state
This grounds you and softens the logical brain.
2. Mind Check-In
Sense the clarity of your mind:
- Is it clear or cloudy?
- Fast or slow?
This gives you your mental “weather report.”
3. Heart/Emotion Check-In
Place a hand over your heart. Ask:
- What is my main emotion right now?
- How is my heart?
Name a true emotion, not a story about the emotion. Dig deeper if you get “tired” – to possibly “a bit sad” or “anxious” or “frustrated”.
Take a breath and let body, mind, and heart synchronize.
4. Connect with Wisdom Larger Than You
Invite in your intuition, nature, God, or whatever feels like a deeper source of guidance. Let it stand with you now.
5. Ask Your Question
Place a question in front of your heart. For example:
“What’s most important for me to finish next month?”
Let the emotional brain respond in its native language:
- images
- felt senses
- metaphors
- a subtle knowing
Keep asking until you feel complete:
- “What tasks matter most?”
- “What else do I need to know about December?”
- “What will help me finish the year well?”
- “Is there a next step?”
This mindful inquiry blends intuition, emotion, and logic—allowing you to live in a more balanced, integrated, and soul-aligned way. A key here is LET YOURSELF BE SURPRISED. You can ask to see a picture or to get sensations about your inquiry. These start out a bit vague, but as you sit with them, or share them by writing them out or talking with a friend, they make more sense.
By the way, this is exactly how you strengthen your intuition and inner wisdom. Trusting yourself, including your emotional brain, is an ongoing practice. After some time, it starts to get fun when the emotional brain surprises you, and reveals useful, even witty wisdom that improves your life and balance.
Resource: The Book, The Therapeutic “Aha!”, by my Hypnotherapy teacher and clinician Courtney Armstrong, LPC. Very awesome!
For Deeper Support
As you move into December, I hope this Balanced Brain approach gives you a gentler, wiser way to navigate the month. When you pause long enough to let your body, mind, and heart find each other again, the next steps usually become clear—and kinder.
If you’d like support applying this process to something specific in your life, or if you’re ready to shift a long-held belief or emotional block, I’d love to help.
For shifting these emotional patterns before the new year, I’m offering a limited 3-session, Year End Clearing package for $300. This is only for my newsletter readers, with deep coaching and hypnotherapy work to shift an old belief or block that is holding you back.
Just reply to learn more – the offer is good through 12/7, and needs to be used by the end of Jan 2026.
Email mdenisebarnes at gmail, with the subject line CLEAR.
Happy Gratitude and Stillness Season to you and yours!
Denise
