World Mental Health Day 2020 (October 10th) just passed (info here). One of the blessings of Covid-19, and well, any adversity, is that it can help you grow. Provided your life paradigm realizes growth is a necessary evil in life.
When you can make the most of these “growth periods”; stress decreases, and you fine tune your happiness. Level 1: Chop wood carry water – get a stress mgmt. system that works for you and prioritize your health. Level 2: the spirit/soul/meaning zone – keep practicing and leaning in to get more lit up in your life.
A line from the song Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones came up as I sat down to write in my journal this morning. Except, there was a revision to line 1. “I love living (NOT SO) easy to do” …. In thinking of World Mental Health Day 2020 this weekend, I wanted to share simple basics for good mental health.
Simple? OK, it’s sometimes not so simple. After the basics are handled, there are always more advanced levels of mental health yoga. If you’re a good human, you keep stretching into challenges. Both the basics and then the advanced levels need addressing, for lifelong mental health.
If you want to stay mentally healthy and vibrant, most of you need to keep growing through those challenges. The nature of the beast? You are doing great, you’re in the flow, all is well.
Then you hit a “growth period” either spurred by your own silly desires to grow, or the universe throwing some change invitations at you. Growth and stasis, growth and stasis. Growth can be easy and smooth, sure.
But a lot of the time it’s just like a birth – lots of effort to squeeze out that next beauty. It can leave quite a mess. You might even lose your shit at times, so to speak.
OK this isn’t starting out how I expected, but let’s go with it, lol. Usually, LOL is a good sign, right? Especially when discussing what can be quite a humorless zone! (Ah, there’s a clue in the crumb trail.)
THE BASICS OF GOOD MENTAL HEALTH
STRESS MANAGEMENT
All right, now I’m going to just throw out the main topics here without all the details. But I will include resources / books where you can learn more. And you can always talk back through comments/email.
First of all, to be healthy mentally, you need a good stress management approach. This should be a system that helps you navigate life. The good bad and ugly – and ugly here is mostly unexpected shite you can’t control. Like losing a loved one, or Covid-19. Or losing a loved one to Covid-19. Or wildfires.
No shortage of this stuff, right?
A comprehensive stress mgmt. approach should give you a) an overall perspective on how to handle life. It should give you tools for b) managing emotions (the gold in them thar hills), c) working with thoughts (most are fight or flight instructions) d) developing relaxation skills and e) having fun / creativity.
Further adventures in basic stress management should include tools for time management and communicating well. OK those overlap with the advanced zone. All this stuff overlaps eventually… hopefully into a nice happy dance. OK stay focused… excuse me, it’s Sunday and the fun’s winking at me from the sidelines.
BODY, MEANING AND THOSE PESKY OTHER PEOPLE
Another part of this basic level includes physical health – if this is off, all bets are off, right? Then meaning has to be there to go from survival to giving more of a damn about your life’s purpose /direction. Usually that means helping the planetary shit storm (lol), and playing well with others. Work and other interactions must have positivity for happiness and thriving.
Tom Rath names these three above areas Energy (health), Meaning and Interactions, See his book Fully Charged, included in the list of resources.
OK – good stress management and being Fully Charged in your day to day. Those are basic foundations – the chop wood, carry water level – for good mental health. It takes time and practice to get these basics down. But naming them clearly at least keeps you progressing to mastery. And more health and happiness. Let’s not forget why the heck you’re doing this uncomfortable yoga position.
THE ADVANCED LEVELS OF GOOD MENTAL HEALTH – SPIRIT/SOUL STRETCHES
GETTING WORK RIGHT
In discussing the meaning and interactions areas of being ‘fully charged’ in your day to day life, WORK is a big area, where you spend a ton of time. Getting your work to be alive for you is a major fountain of happiness injections. Doesn’t have to happen overnight. but it’s not something you want to give up on or live with, if it’s not ideal.
Advanced levels of thriving at work? Making a contribution to the shit storm of planet earth 2020. Using skills that are part of your big gifts/genius and that bring you joy. Having a sense of growing and evolving; excitement even. And having peace with money where you feel at ease, well supported and able to share your wealth. I call that latter area healthy wealth, a specialty I help with.
CLEARING REGRETS AND TRAUMA
This might be the area called Karma in some parts of the world. Regrets that keep circling or past trauma that keeps plaguing your mental health? Yes, this needs to be addressed for great mental health. The good news today is that finally psychotherapy has a handle on how to do this without reliving the pain or being in therapy forever.
Yay for science and brain research!
In terms of overlapping areas, there could be a need here to improve communication tools, as you clear regrets and trauma. To work with thoughts and emotions. To figure out how to approach and handle dysfunctional family patterns. This can take time, and expert help, yes. Yet, it doesn’t have mean forever feeling handicapped or compromised.
Past life trauma can be a part of this picture, as an Intuitive, my clients and I often feel that presence. But you don’t have to go too far with this, because a) past lives themes are often present in this life’s challenges (all roads lead to Rome; high five if you were there). And b) usually this life’s trauma is plenty to handle for those who have chosen trauma lessons for their soul’s growth and mastery plan.
Speaking of truly advanced levels – right on, friend.
SOUL MISSION AND SPIRITUAL MASTERY
Speaking of soul growth; this is a big part of the picture for myself and my clients. The soul mission nags at you unmercifully if not given attention. You can develop mental health issues to no end if you try to live that life of quiet desperation as a couch potato, and stay comfortable. Who? What soul mission? Yeah; it’s is a tough job at times, it’s true. And, Earth is not the vacation paradise of past times.
No, it’s a high growth opp; 60 G lifetimes of growth in 60 years. (Remember that pamphlet? Some details missed, but truth in advertising? Probably.)
Address your soul work, and you’ll be a lot better off. Lean into that mystery, when your basics are down.
The idea here is that you set yourself up to make some progress in this life on the soul level. Doesn’t have to be huge stuff. No saving the whole world needed. Just save a day now and then – make someone else’s day. Stay on the soul / spirit trail. Honor the homing beacon while you’re here. It’s a short life. It’s not only what you see.
You know it (and experience less anxiety, depression and frustration – the mental health naysayers) when you’re leaning into what really matters. And you know it when you’re avoiding these things.
Other positive side effects of being on your soul trail and leaning in to your soul mission / genius gifts? The joy of making a meaningful contribution. Doing something that delights you. Feeling more positive emotions. Connecting and collaborating with likeminded others. Having more love and fun in your life.
SO MUCH FOR THE SHORT STORY
Well, there you have it. The basic levels and the advanced levels of healthy mental health. And living a good life. It took a little longer – just like home improvement! And Soul work! Shoot. Still LOLing here.
I should note that all of this takes practice. Weekly devoted time to try some new tools, to do some homework. You might have to actually write something out – it helps your brain learn mo’ bettah. You might have to make a plan for a quarter or a year, and chip away at it. I know, what a pain.
Yes, life can be complicated at times, but once you reverse any inertia and banish confusion about why things suck so much? You might find that… “Wild, wild horses… couldn’t drag (you) away”. OK, sorry.
What do you think? Do you agree with my unbidden journal entry, “… Living … (not so) easy to do? Comment below or talk back in an email. soulbizsavvy at gmail is the secret code.
Need to lose some stress? Check out the Soul Savvy simple, research-based stress management approach, The Four Steps. These even predate mindfulness! (Yeah, I’m considered old now).
You can sign up for the newsletter too, because 4 Steps videos are coming, videos are coming, videos… Maybe then you can avoid the writing down thing (not).
And if you’d like to explore my intuitive or coaching work, you can set up a free consult here.
Yours in World Mental Health Day 2020. Let’s do this. Heal the world. Or wait, heal the day.
Amen and aho. Have fun. Namaste,
Denise Barnes, MA, LPC, Rev.
RESOURCES:
Here is the short list of delightful and enlightening reads to grow (ugh) and thrive (oh, OK).
Fully Charged, and Eat Move Sleep – Tom Rath
Designing your Life, and Designing your Work Life – Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
2 Happy Money books – one by Ken Honda, one by Elizabth Dunn and Michael Norton
Creating Money, (energy work of money) Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer
Controlling your Drinking: Making Moderation Work for You 2nd ed. Addiction help yes, but part 4? Great MH primer everyone should have gotten in kindergarten), Miller and Munoz
Start Finishing: How to Go from Idea to Done, Charlie Gilkey
I love the stress relief stuff; it feel so accurate. And It is great to have a stepping stone picture – first get the basics of good mental health (well-described) and then go deeper (also well-described). Thanks!
Your welcome Siddheshwari. I’m glad that was a helpful model. I see a lot of research today that backs up the importance of the deeper piece, whether we call it soul – or meaning, or positive interactions in your day. Like a blog comment, right? Thanks!