A quickening of your development is indicated here. Yet even when the growth process accelerates, you will have reason to halt along the way, to reconsider the old, to integrate the new. Take advantage of these halts.
Book of Runes, by Ralph Blum
Rune: Thurisaz, Gateway – Place of Non-Action
So many times when working with clients, there is that resistance that comes up before a next step. Or after many steps. Things have been going along smoothly, even uber productively. And then, boof, a block appears. For some godforsaken reason (good word for this, it sure feels that way) – there’s a halt. Or a serious slow down. Maybe it’s just the exhale after the inhale – the pause between breaths.
Darn. Just when I was getting somewhere, you might think to yourself.
Pauses and rest stops –well, not so easy for most. That’s that there meditation, isn’t it, or that there mindfulness stuff, right? I don’t think that option is covered in the Puritan ethic. No, that tells you to keep working hard at all costs. It tells you idleness is the devil’s plaything – I mean c’mon! Get in gear pal!
In some families, unoccupied young ones were thought to be a big problem, and everyone would brainstorm until SOMETHING, anything, was found for them to do.
Maybe Space really is the final frontier…
So if you’re taking great strides or you’ve just gotten through a major causeway, with a slew of accomplishments behind you, stop if you can. With all that momentum going on, it’s so easy to get focused on the future and the “what’s next to do?” It’s almost as though there is no stopping allowed until reaching the finish line.
Or so says the body that’s not breathing. And so says mind that must prove its worth through many lovely actions.
There can even be blindness to what just happened, to all the effort expended, to all the aspects of what was created. You know what they say though, even God had Sunday off. Ah, what happens when time is given to savoring?
GETTING BACK TO THE BIG PICTURE
So, in the big picture, if you are hitting a road block, it may be because you need to take a break. You may have earned it. It may be time to stop and say thank you oh brilliant one (that’s you), thank you again for all you do. Thank you again for carrying my luscious ass forward a few more steps. Thank you again for all it took to get me here. Let’s take stock, let’s just simmer a bit, let’s chill and savor. Wow. Whoa.
And if you’re feeling down on yourself because the goal list (i.e., the picture of what you thought should get done) doesn’t match reality – try taking a self-love and appreciation break. See it as a “whoa” opportunity, a whoa moment. Hey we’ve even got Labor Day weekend approaching – perfect!
And if you suffer from the “No Mercy ‘til Done” syndrome – you’re now off the hook. Or can be. Well, it will take some additional awareness work to catch yourself and shift those muscles some – but try it.
Mercy can become your middle name; a little goes a long, long way.
PREP FORMS AND PERSPECTIVE
I was amazed myself at this phenomena of driven-ness in my own work with a coach. Before a coaching session, you send a progress report on how you did with your goals. My sense before doing this “prep” form (session prep-aration form) – would always be that I’d fallen short. I’d feel embarrassed before starting, but OK, here I go.
Then when I actually filled this baby out, I’d stand amazed. Even if all of my goals weren’t complete, it rarely mattered. The learning was always very potent, and much more than I expected.
That’s worth repeating. Even when the goals you set out to accomplish don’t get completed, you often still learn huge amounts. And there are usually two or three big things you did back there, that you already forgot about, when you are moving fast. Perhaps you may have been overdoing it a bit with that forward leaning, you ambitious pup, you.
TRY A PREP FORM AFTER BIG STUFF OR WHEN STUCK
Next time, before you wag your finger at your “lazy” ass (old way language – usually no longer applies); consider that it might be time for a break. I mean goddess forbid we’re letting you get lazy or get away with being lazy, right?
If unsure, try a prep form. I bet it will shift your perspective. Wanna bet? Hit reply to place a wager if you are in doubt – just do it BEFORE you do the prep form. (And later let’s come up with a better name for this thing.)
Here are the categories – just fill in brief bullets under each one:
What went well / got done
What were areas to work on / what’s not done (that I still want to do)
What else did I learn? (Huge one)
What do I want to acknowledge? (Even when things aren’t done – there can be much to acknowledge)
How will I celebrate or reward myself?
Next steps (Usually named after the coaching session – and then the wheel begins again)
Bottom Line: We’re usually tough on ourselves, especially when we get ahead of ourselves in the doing of it all. Take a breath, take a break, and see how it looks after a shift in perspective. Try a prep form, a walk, a good night’s sleep or a night of fun with loved ones… the list goes on.
What are your favorite ways to shift? (Your blog comments avidly adored.)
Racing around is fun but – well you miss half the moments and most of the glorious beauty. Better to allow each day to have open space (the old part of me still freaks out there) – and balance accomplishment with joy, self-care and speed checks. (Screech! Ahhh… No, you go. No, after you, really. Thanks. Ahhhh. Hey, look at that rainbow. OK now you’re in the way. Oh, after you. No, ok… thanks.)
Peace, and blessings on this late summer weekend,
Denise Barnes