The Law of Attraction has three simple steps. 1) You ask. 2) Universe Answers. 3) Allow it in. Oh so simple, yet so many opportunities for derailment. I am still learning about this law, and continue to refine my personal sense of how this works, employing a fair amount of informed skepticism. That’s part of the ongoing experiment and discussion. Today, let’s look at step one, and why this can be so challenging.
Ah, the contrast. You have an old car, and you sense that it’s time for a new one. You decide to bring in the law of attraction – hey! Let’s make it a fun experiment. You create the vision board, not only with cool looking cars that might match your ideal, but with the higher spiritual qualities this new(er) steel being would bring to your life. Peace, knowing you have a reliable form of transportation, and joy, knowing you can merrily truck to your appointments and peddle your wares without as many break downs. (I meant the car silly!)
This is a simple example of breaking out the law of attraction and starting out with step one. Cars are easy – life situations, perhaps more complicated. It is said that ‘All roads lead to Rome’. Yet big change impacts many life areas, and has that ripple effect you can’t always control. So – what part of that elephant in the room named “Next Big Change I Need Now”, do you want to grab first?
In a similar way, when you want to invite a new situation, let’s say with money or work, it may not be clear initially what to ask for. I’d like to bring in more money. I’d like more fulfilling work. Simple enough, right? And if it were as simple as it looks, I’d be out of a job, in terms of my coaching practice. There are many reasons that asking is not so simple as it seems – let’s take just a small peek.
CLEAR ASKING CAN BE CHALLENGING FOR MANY REASONS
Asking for what you want – how has that worked in your life before now? Perhaps you’ve learned that it’s perfectly appropriate to ask for things you need, whether spiritual, material, personal, etc. You ask, and you always get your needs met in this abundant, sharing universe. No?
When you decide to clearly ask for change, often all of your past history comes forth to be considered. No, you don’t have to dwell on this necessarily – because that would be oh so non-PC, in terms of the LOA instruction to only focus on the good feeling stuff (acronymn def’s – PC politically correct, LOA law of attraction). But if there is some related past history that rears up, let’s say about how you’ve been denied (or denied yourself) this absolutely valid need for 30 years…
Well eager pup, this might not be as quick of a manifestation process as you’d hope for. You may at least need to have a cup of tea with the relevant past history there, and shed a few tears together, before you sally forth into the new landscape. That’s quite a shift you see, to decide to ask for a desire now. Despite past history and old beliefs, you will extend yourself and ask again to have this soul savvy need filled. You will trust it can happen, that you can ask.
Remember the old biddy ancestors, the dysfunctional set of ancestors I’ve described who serve to maintain the status quo at all costs? They have a few things to say about asking for what you want or need. In that previously predominant energy pattern, you have a lot of nerve to clearly request things you need. Who do you think you are anyway? Isn’t that out of line, perhaps selfish, to be so uppity? (A client just termed it, fear of being arrogant. Exactly! say the old biddies with glee! Standing in your power or soul desire is total arrogance in their book.)
Finally, inviting in something new often invites a new way of being. Want to make thousands more dollars this year? Okay. Will you be the same person you are now if that happens? Probably not. So there are more changes that accompany the naming of your desire, more change that will be brought into play. If I want to be a great coach, there might be a few practices I have to let go of to be that powerful. Yeah, it gets a little complicated, this growth and this soul savvy life design.
So – guess there are a few things that make this a bit more complicated than at first glance, to Just Ask baby, c’mon….
UNDERSTANDING THE CHALLENGE OF ASKING CLEARLY
Asking and setting intention is a process. When you start out, you name your desire as clearly as you can. Go for it! Write it down, make a vision board, feel it as if it’s now yours, etc. etc. AND, if you get down that road a bit and see some healing or find there are some lost children from your past needing milk and cookies, don’t fret. This is perfect too – as long as you have ways to work with the healing needs, and don’t get sucked for too long into that emotional quicksand.
These are just a few considerations re: the challenges of step one of LOA, “You Ask”. First off, you got your great aunts with blue hair who disapprove of empowered relatives in general, nevermind those who ask for big change. There is a lot of that tribal energy to leave behind when you make a clear request. It’s an energetic echo, but quite a powerful membrane to successfully cross and yes, defy. It really does take warrior strength and a Carlos Casteneda mindset to break through this sometimes. Whining and gossipping doesn’t aid your cause. You may even need to keep it quiet as you brave that portal (and not bitch about the old biddies as much as I do, for example ; ) – although I’m having fun with them in service of getting the word out.)
Then you’ve got the clear naming. Often our ideas might not always translate immediately into the verbal realm. You see a vision, or you get an image of something that doesn’t quite make sense. Or, it’s hard to really say a dollar amount, or to name that audacious job title or thriving private practice you yearn for. Sometimes your perfectionist or critic won’t let you alone, so that can impede your clear intention setting. So, it’s fine to go with a working model – name the thing, as best you can, and then go ahead, ask.
When you ask, what shows up first might not be quite what you thought. Sometimes, that universal creativity turns out to be better than what you imagined. Sometimes, it is time to say No, sorry, that isn’t quite right. Then you get to sit with the uncertainty of – was that close enough and am I just picky? Is what I want really possible? Etc.
So the challenge and the gift of law of attraction is that – though the steps are simple, and there are so many books out there, the only trustworthy teacher is your own internal guidance system. And again, that system has its ups and downs, with its human base. Some days that guidance system is clear as a bell. Sometimes it’s spouting Halloween spider webs. Black ones. Even when it’s clear some days, there is no guarantee that next week you’ll completely sidestep doubt and fear alley.
SHORTCUTS TO CLEAR ASKING, IN THAT “WORKING MODEL” MODE
There are many steps to asking clearly for what you want. You often have more than one thing you need, more than one area of life you’d like to change. It is hard to know where to start sometimes. Here are three suggestions.
1) Listen to the Ideal Scene audio visualization to see if anything emerges as the best first step.
2) Take time to write down all your goals for the next five years. All of them, in all life areas. (This is an idea from Brian Tracy’s book, Time Power). Then, prioritize the important of these goals using A, B, C. Then, take each A, B, C area and number then in order of priority. Thus, A1 is your most important goal/desire.
3) Get in a centered place. Body, mind, heart, divine connection. Once hooked up, let your current desires parade before your heart. Ask your connected Self, what is my most important goal/desire to ask for now? Let yourself be willing to be surprised. Compare notes between the intuitive and the logical mind’s choices – and then, pick one to ask for. Yes, you might have more than one, but start by asking for the numero uno. Then go from there.
However you get there to the asking, know you can adopt the “working model” mode. Don’t let perfectionism impede the important step of naming your desire. Use your own style and spiritual framework to ask. With the clearest words you can muster under your belt, get centered, still, and address that ol’ universe some way, somehow. Ask for that clear (as best you can name it) and empowered (good-enough-for-now empowerment) place.
When the healing work rears its head, do like that Rumi poem.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
– Jelaluddin Rumi (Sufi poet, 1207-1273)
Is asking challenging for you? Are there other things that make asking challenging? Other thoughts? Share a comment ~
My best blessings on your clear requests for soul desires ….
Denise Barnes