If this is a story that you can relate to – and you’d like to learn some soul savvy secrets for befriending that organic doubt, I’d love you to join me in next week’s teleclass, the Doubt Diva Dance. More info here.
I was just speaking with a past client last week (pseudonym Julie), and celebrating her mega success after the Quantum Leap program. Yes, it took some time – and yes, those planted seeds took root into a lovely new reality.
She was one of the smart ones who got help. Maybe she’d had it up to here with the lack of confidence, and all that flailing uncertainty. She certainly was feeling the call to upgrade her soul work and make a bigger contribution, as many of you are now.
Here’s the thing – she had good support in her life. Partner, friends, savvy community. But she knew she needed more objective feedback and more accountability. She’d had the vision and the clues. She knew her current work was draining and dead-ending.
She didn’t know how to make this soul work upgrade happen – she just knew it was time. She took the courageous step of honoring her impulse that the “quantum leap” program was a good fit for her situation. She leapt, and then did the work to stay on track.
Then boof! The universe stepped in with the ideal job announcement. The previous employee had held the position for 22 years. Let the games begin, the universe grins!
UH OH – SIX THOUSAND VISITORS? AND, ER – HOW MANY APPLICANTS?
That vision stage is great, in a lot of ways. There are still a lot of questions to answer, but ah, the clues and insights can be so inspiring and purpose-enlivening. It’s kind of the honeymoon phase of manifesting, the playful stage of creating what you want. Bring on the crayons!
Then, your foot needs to press on the pedal. The rubber bows to the road. In this case, there were 6000 web visitors checking out this ideal job. That’s when the inner doubts can flame up big time. I’ve got a name for this wealth-of-doubts rock star – the Doubt Diva.
In my client’s case, besides the potentially brutal competition – there was a major relocation that would be involved. Oh the Doubt Diva was gleefully rubbing her hands. This discouragement dance would be a piece of cake. Just think of all that trouble involved in uprooting from friends and family. That would be way too taxing, depressing… (amazon begins to shrink and spiral down.)
Honeymoon’s over. Yet the good news – this is when you know you are truly leaning in to your vision’s reality show. The comfortable Ah stage gives way to the AHHHH!!! stage. I don’t believe the myths anymore that this rubber meets the road stage is easy. (A good book on this – Outlier, by Malcolm Gladwell – cliff notes – success takes a decade and tons of support.)
It’s almost like the universe asks you – is this really what you want?
THE VISION TO REALITY DRAFTING TABLE
Your first vision is a rough draft, not the final say. There is an art to paying attention to what comes up in response, and evaluating it. This option might not look exactly like your vision – in fact, it could be a total mutation of the original request. Yet – when you glance again, you realize – it has every ingredient you did wish for. You’re just not in Kansas anymore…
Soul work upgrade take persistence, faith, and some complicated maneuvering. Never mind tools and support. Yet when you aim yourself truly – can you see what a fun process it can get to be? Especially after a bit of practice with mastering the fears and Doubt Diva distractions that arise, each and every time you expand. And let’s hope that is often.
Imagine after a while, having tea with your Doubt Diva, and seeing her arrival as a good sign. Now that’s progress.
IT’S A SAD STORY WHEN THE DOUBT DIVA WINS
The Doubt Diva can appear to be a formidable opponent who fights you tooth and nail – but she really isn’t interested in winning. It’s just part of her job description to help you clear the doubts that organically arise. Think of it as an energetic insprection before the house of your dream is purchases. Are your support beams (systems) in place to support this bigger house?
I’ve talked to successful therapists who have been in practice for 30 years. When they are leaning into a new edge of their work, even with all that background and expertise, they still have doubts.
The saddest thing is when doubts that are meant to be a test or an invitation to get clearer – totally derail you from your dream. Oh the vision may keep circling and arising – but that lost heart, and damaged hope is very costly. Sometimes you never pick up the vision again.
Luckily, my client’s story had a happy ending. Oh sure, those 6000 visitors brought up fears – and that relocation factor caused some upheaval. But in the sacred coaching container, it was clear she needed to keep that option open – and a sane day job (which ended up making her a better candidate for the new job).
After the flurry of doubts passed, she got committed to make the best damn application she could, and even get it in early. After nine months, three rounds of interviews, and besting the eighteen other qualified applicants, Julie got the dream upgrade job. Woo hoo!
Would she have persisted without the support? Percentage-wise, far too many get stopped. Far too many lose hope, and lose heart – in a way that their momentum is never recaptured. And that is one of the most expensive problems of the decade.
My best to your dream upgrades,
Denise Barnes