Ow, Ow, Ow! There I was again, hitting my upper limits ceiling. What, do I have a big head or something? No, well yeah, I do need large hats for the physical size thing. But no – I was just extending myself, leaning into my edge, going beyond what I’d done before. Boof, hello ceiling. Let’s answer some questions about these ceilings that play head ball. Like, doesn’t it go away after the first seventy times you stretch yourself? Won’t it stop once I attain mastery? Read on, graceful gift holder…
My coach was a bit panicked, it sounded like. She kept making suggestions, but one of the seven dwarfs of my upper limit ceiling, Foggy, was making some serious mischief. Foggy was taking my coach’s perfectly good suggestions and bombing them with cloud banks. Did I want to reschedule?
We did press forward, and by the next day, the fog had cleared. At times like these, I take heart from a story I heard about Jerry Garcia. After four decades or so, count ’em, of playing guitar in front of very large audiences, he never got over stage fright. No matter the support, the salaried infrastructure, the mind numbing drug use. Using gifts can be scary, no matter how many times you pull out the guitar.
Luckily, he kept playing…
IT’S OFTEN THE SAME SONG
My upper limits song, like yours I’m guessing, has a few repeating themes. Like most limiting beliefs, there can be some truth to them. But they are often said in a pumped up accusatory tone that distorts any semblance of truth and leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. There is also some numbing that goes on, kind of like a poison effect.
If you eat too much of this meal, you don’t feel very good about continuing the game. Perhaps one of your seven dwarfs has invited a few other dwarfs over for dinner at that point. Even though you didn’t plan on having dessert, it kinda looked good on the outside. Later when triple heart burn sets in, you vow, never again will I come under their spell.
As I was preparing to give the Breaking Through Money Ceiling presentation last week, the chorus was familiar. I didn’t appreciate my coach pointing this out, but it was true – we had covered this last session. “What if it doesn’t work (for everyone and cure the whole world in one feel swoop, swell foop, whatever)? What if they throw tomatoes, or something harder? What if I look like an idiot (we know… that’s not very hard for me… okay stop that Bitchy [another dwarf]).”
Besides the ‘What ifs’, there were the ‘I can’ts’. Oh man, is this group of wallflowers an energetic bunch. Listen to this chorus line: “I can’t. It’s too hard. I can’t quite get clear here. I’ll never figure this out.” Oh, and look, they passing the baton to their comparison cousins. “You’re reinventing the wheel and well dear, there are much better wheels out there. Don’t trouble yourself.”
Then there are the doubt bridge singers. “Are you sure, la la la, that this is the right, do wop, do wop, field for you? Shiga shiga bom bom, whee! You can always, boo wop boo wop, go back to, a ha lay ay lu hu ya, cancer counseling. Shiga fu shiga fu – much less risky dear. And those people really need help, bloo beep bloo beep bomma bomb. Wampa Wampa Whee! Tha’s right!”
Okay, I might be exaggerating in terms of the large numbers of voices joining in the chorus. But sometimes, it can seem like there are at least seven upper limit dwarfs offering poison cake. Mine were Foggy, Sleepy, Hungry, Doubty, Scary, Bitchy and No Hope-y.
Who are your upper limit dwarfs? No that’s okay, don’t bring them over to dinner. I’m fasting.
And don’t worry, the cacophony of voices boil down to a few basic themes. Let’s simplify, shall we? Otherwise, you can get lost in this opera.
SOME BASIC UPPER LIMIT CEILING CHORUSES
Gay Hendricks, in his latest book, The Big Leap (highly recommended), notes four basic fears and related false beliefs that limit success, whether it’s in the realm of wealth, relationship, or creativity. It’s amazing how creative you get in elaborating these themes in your own unique story lines and life histories.
Speaking of creativity, if your seven dwarfs are also bringing out their instruments, let’s allow them to play briefly here. No solos though. And put that cake away please!
The four basic fears of great success and expanding into your full genius boil down to:
1) Feeling fundamentally flawed (’nuff said)
2) Disloyalty and abandonment (you’d be disloyal, leave people behind, and be all alone if successful)
3) Believing that more success brings a bigger burden (see participant example below)
4) The crime of outshining – Don’t shine too much, or you’ll make others look bad (many gifted kids suffer from this one, sometimes with the added spice of post-expression humiliation added on).
THE SOUL SAVVY BOTTOM LINE:
There is more to say here, and I’ll be continuing on this theme of working with limiting beliefs, as I attempt to entice you to join me in the Raise your Money Ceiling Webinar. Yes, this will be an amazing compendium on the anatomy of limiting belief busting and genius expansion vitamins.
For now, here are a few ideas for working with these tone deaf singers:
a) The seven dwarfs (and fears and limiting belief choruses) are a pain, but they also prove something cool. You are on the verge of expanding. Good on ya mate! Don’t stop, and don’t get seduced by the chorus – it’s just a side effect of growth.
b) You can name the symptoms of your upper limits, and prepare a bit for them. Awareness does help here. If you’re going to expect bad weather, you dress for it. If Sleepy might show up the week of a presentation, I won’t make too many evening plans.
c) Name the choruses, the tendencies that try to thwart you, when you are working on a higher ceiling. You don’t have to erase them. You can just be curious about how this all works.
d) Know that the real story is not the dirge of despair the dwarfs want to get you singing. The real story is the new path you are making into your expansion – into love, creativity and wealth.
Who knew a little head banging could indicate a whole new genre of music was afoot?
Blessings,
Denise