“Changing the behavior of people isn’t just the biggest challenge in health care. It’s the most important challenge for businesses trying to compete in a turbulent world.” John Kotter, Harvard Business School
The last couple weeks, the balanced wealth assessment ( BWA) has been the gargoyle at the gate of a half-priced laser coaching offer. But caution is needed. Of course there are lots of good reasons to do this assessment. But there’s a reason we avoid money clarity, and all types of clarity, right?
While clarity can bring relief, another saying goes, “the truth hurts”. The bad news is – even when you’ve conquered some level of money mastery or any kind of mastery, you can backslide or backpedal on your progress. A few thoughts for your weekend leisure musing…
CONFESSIONS AND THE GATEKEEPER
I wax on and on about money peace and work balance; I write this eZine; I coach people who want to move to the next level with work and wealth. Still, recently I had a huge misstep. I avoided facing my taxes. I had a funny feeling, ha ha, not so funny – that I’d have a little payback to make to Uncle. What would I have had to do? Oh, maybe add up a few receipts, contract payments, etc. And then do my taxes or estimate the deductions perhaps. So we’re talking some hours for the big task, or even less time to get that ball park figure – the 25% of my untaxed income that might be due, and put that aside.
But no, for some reason, I waited. Yes, it’s been busy. And even the experts put their hands over their ears/eyes and sing real loud to drown out uncomfortable truths at times. What is that about? Is it the two steps forward, one step back syndrome – the way some think that growth happens? Move ahead, fall back some, move further, rest a bit, a big leap, a big backtrack…
Well the good news was – I didn’t go even further into money dumbness by say, spending money I didn’t have. No, I created a freeze on any nonessential spending. That had been happening for a while, and the discomfort this caused was part of the impetus to return to clarity. Finally a few weeks back, the rock star of Avoidance woke up after her months-long tour. She cleared the wreckage, showed the groupies the door, took out the recycle, and took the last train to Clarksville, or the midnight train to Memphis, I forget.
Anyway, then I pulled up the receipts and the calculator. It took a weekend, but it was planned and timed to be done before the meeting with the accountant. The accountant couldn’t find any other deductions, and the bad news was clear… Uncle Sam, you win this year. Luckily there was good news too. And…I think I’ll let the Rock Star continue on tour without me.
WHEN AVOIDANCE SHIELDS LARGER PAIN
Change, and facing the truth, can be hard. You may have heard tell about this Fast Company article by Alan Deutschman – goes back a few years. One of the surprising stats he shares is from cardiac patients who’ve had bypasses or angioplasties – procedures that are a temporary solution for a larger problem. For the long term solution, patients would have to change their lifestyles, or, they face the return of pain, the need for repeat surgeries, and yes, death. So, guess what percentage makes the changes after this procedure, which by the way, could also kill them? We’re talking high stakes here. What % do you think? 25? 50? 75%?
No – not quite, reports Dr. Edward Miller of Johns Hopkins University, quoted in the article. After two years, only 10% have changed their lifestyle. Now it’s a complex brew of why that is – and perhaps a far cry from the small issue of money avoidance. On the other hand, it’s a good glimpse into the difficult dynamics of shifting from denial to awareness – the first step of change.
In contrast you’ve probably heard of Dean Ornish MD, Professor of medicine at University of California in San Francisco, and Preventative Medicine Research Institute founder, in Sausalito. His lifestyle change program, which the article also discusses, was able to help these patients change. Information alone isn’t enough, Ornish says, and fear of dying isn’t a good motivator, especially when the group may be lonely and depressed to begin with.
Ornish’s program and research focused on the joy of living as a motivator, and included the support dimension you might guess would be needed – psychological, emotional and spiritual areas. After three years, 77% of those patients maintained their lifestyle changes, and avoided any surgery they were initially eligible for. This is a huge accomplishment. The year long program, which included a mostly vegetarian diet, psychologist-led support groups 2x a week, smoking cessation help, and meditation/ relaxation/yoga/aerobic exercise training, probably cost quite some bucks. But the insurance company Ornish got to fund his study saved thirty grand per patient… I think he enrolled 333 patients in the study.
Okay, so … for the cardiac patients, how is avoidance helpful? Denial didn’t cure them, but it helped them avoid the pain of facing the hard work of change, as well as their depression and loneliness. Bad lifestyle choices didn’t help them physically, but comfort eating, cigarettes, etc., likely provided temporary relief and helped them cope. A mixed blessing, and yeah, nothing like the stress management savvy expected of us health-conscious lightworkers, right?
OPTING FOR CHANGE: SUPPORT OFTEN REQUIRED
For those who did opt for change in the Ornish program, it took a lot of time and a lot of support, by current standards – in our pull yourself up by your own damn bootstraps country. Twice a week support groups are almost unheard of today – unless you are just recovering from a recent mental breakdown. You’ll get support on the psych ward, and then you’ll be encouraged to get with a mental health program – but the current health care climate shrinks support options and gives you a brief time to “get over it”.
Good to know that big change takes support. If you haven’t been able to make changes on your own – you might not be to blame. Making changes from money neurosis and fear-based programming of the past – might not just be about finding the right affirmation. No. You’ll have to create and learn new programsto replace the old ones. New practices, new outcomes desired – to replace the old place holders and that charismatic rock star.
So the good news about avoidance – it’s a gatekeeper – keeping you company for now, and marking the place to go when you’re ready to change. In my case, clearing the avoidance meant rising to a new level with the reality of taxes. This led me to a new stance with saving money in general, and a recommitment to making room for more wealth and creativity.
Retiring the avoidance rock star might take a bit of time, and may require you to find a new method for coping with the challenges she’s shielding you from. You may need that shield right now. For a while, this rock star can be your friend. But eventually, the song feels a bit shallow, and yeah, that recycle can sure pile up.
Eventually the fast food and TV ceases to quiet the deeper pain, for the cardiac patients that gets called to change. In the same way, avoiding your money music’s current sound track starts to get a bit uncomfortable after a while, when the pull of balanced wealth says, it’s time to make your move. The BS that was believable for a while, wears thin, and starts to stink.
WHY CHANGE?
What makes change worth the pain? In the case of the cardiac patients, change meant less physical pain, more mobility, even more ability to make love. If you look at increasing your wealth, and your wealth balance, what would be the payoff that makes facing the gargoyles at the gate worth it?
Those good things that make life worth living can be different for each of you. Common ones include love and relationships, contribution to the world, self growth, creating beauty. What would motivate you to have more healthy money “diet and lifestyle” practices? Just the money peace and balance resulting from awareness can be incentive enough, compared to the constant nail-biting anxiety of robbing Peter to pay Paul.
It hurts at first to remove the rock star sun glasses. It takes courage and commitment to change, to grow and evolve. Bad news is – that never ends, the process of growing, the facing of growth edges that keep appearing. The good news there – the closer you get to fulfilling your life mission and doing your true work, the less like work it feels. And often, the more wealth it creates.
What would inspire you to lean into your next step, and stretch into that next level of mastery looming ahead?
Thoughts? Pushback? Questions? Would love to hear your comments…