7 Funny Things about Procrastination

After years of procrastinating’s smarting burn marks on my hide, I can finally see the brilliance of it. Perhaps those welts have rubbed off into something worth the trouble. See what you think. Once you roll with these ideas, I bet you’ll see more I haven’t thought of. Add those below in the comments, please.

1) This procrastination, this flailing you might say, is an actual sign of progress. Why? Because you have named a step you want to take. That step is related to some kinda thang you want to do. No, right now you are specifically not doing it. You’re taking the couch comatose position. That’s OK. It’s part of the preparation to do something awesome. Bear with me here… I know it’s counter-intuitive. I also know couch comatose isn’t very joyful in the end. And though you think it’s relaxing, stress is rising on the inside. Oh, see the 4 Steps to Destress for that…

2) This flailing, and this unease you are experiencing at this “border” (re: Maria Nemeth’s terms, “trouble at the border” discussed here) is a sign that there is something meaningful afoot. There is something important here, something worth procrastinating about. That is better than being so far off trail (and I’ve been there), you don’t even have a clue what you should be doing, or what’s next to pursue.

3) Oh goody, this argghful inertia means this is a sign that there could be a negative belief to be tamed. Those bastards (oops) come up when it’s required for you to clear this motha out before expanding. Heard that saying, what got you here won’t get you there? Relevant. Negative beliefs will prevent your easeful progress, which is what you want when you’re taking a SoulSavvy approach (more easeful vs. combating beliefs at every step of your growth surges).

4) Oh no! I mean, oh goody! Again! This gnashing of the metaphorical toothies is a sign that there may be some homie emotions to hang with. Oh yes I know many banish emotions to the backwards of our shiny mindset madness prisons. No, not here. Here it’s known that emotions are no Mad Dog excuse for a general. They are golden clues that there is something you may have missed. Often they work in tandem with those negative beliefs – what a ferocious duo! Talk about tangoing with the stars!

5) Speaking of paying attention to clues, and tools that help with belief taming, and mindfulness, and slowing down for the real stuff going on behind the scenes of your best laid plan, this procrastination is certainly a sign that you have unwittingly signed up for some mindset muscle training! Wow! You didn’t even have to pay for it! (Yet.) It’s true friend, that each time you stretch into meaningful tasks, even when you dun wanna, you are on the way to brandishing a handsome mindset six-pack. Or at least you will lose some of that under-the-arm mindset flab. Excellent!

6) When you do decide it’s time to break out of Procrastina-tion’s Coma, or perhaps if it’s been going on a longer time, it’s the Off-the-Trail-for-a-Little-Too-Long coma, you will be getting new underwear. This is a sign that your pelvis and lower back are getting an “increase in backbone” adjustment. Not only muscle definition, you wild one, but also a calcium structure infusion! The undies thing? Oh, that just means that you will be compensated on the ethereal plane by receiving a brand new, sparkling, favorite material/color pair of big girl / boy panties!! Awesome looking pelvis there, amazing! Just brilliant, that upgrade. Sexy even.

7) Finally, and I bet you are getting a whole new appreciation for procrastination now… this tug of war (or extended sleep cycle, depending on your current position) is likely a sign that you are now officially rubbing up against what you really came here to do. Too late now, you whine? More self-flagellation chorus chiming in? Well, lest you forget what planet you’re on friend, let me reference that star trek episode. Next Generation. The one where kids’ gifts are known at birth, and THEN they get the best training, mentoring, lifestyle support, yada yada. Yeah, it’s a happy planet.

Here on Earth, it’s more like you’ve been born on the set for Gladiators. I mean, not just a set, because this is not just theater, no matter what Shakespeare may have said. And no, you’re not the guards here, you’re the fighter type, sent to entertainingly fend off lions or who knows what. So, lions, tigers, and way crummy food. Yikes!

I know it’s easy to forget you are not on that prior planet of easeful evolution, because yes, it is pretty in spots around here. But let’s not forget the obstacle course called Earth OK? Thusly and therefore, even if you manage to have a glimpse of your true mission in the fray, in the current COVID-19 corridor/BLM crash course – well yes, it’s a pretty damn good sign. Take it.

I think you get my point. If you can see the funny side of this … sigh… OK let’s call it a wrestling partner… Well then you just may be about to win a match. It could take as little as ten seconds (see last article). Or OK, ten minutes. OK, and taking ten minutes will then trick you into taking thirty, all right, all right. Point is, rest if you need to. Eat some super food. And then, try the 10/10 (ten secs, ten minutes), and hopefully, off you go. With a chuckle. Or at least a sigh.

Let me know how it goes. I’ll be psyched to hear of those new muscles, never mind the color and style of the new underwear. (Wunderwear?)