Planning and goal setting can be a major challenge for empaths yet so worthwhile. Sometimes you grind away at goals, and they don’t happen. Other times they seem to manifest effortlessly. What up with that?
THE WAY IT IS WITH GOALS / THIS LIFE WALK ON EARTH FOR EMPATHS AND THE LIKE
A lot goes on when the rubber meets the road between our ideas (metaphysical or ethereal reality) and the rubber road of getting them to happen on this earth. It’s natural that there’s a gap, a discrepancy between the idea and the reality parts. That’s not the point really, or a reason to stop. So much learning on the way! And leaning in to what’s important keeps your mood hopeful and, well, it’s kinda fun.
Another thing – while you have an analytic side of the brain (It likes those “to do list” apps, productivity books etc.), you also have the emotional brain (Not a list maker. Wants experiences versus lists. Meanders somewhat. Can be a sensitive mug who isn’t always convinced that public speaking or your latest marketing plan rocks. Known to hide under covers as well as roar.)
So, goals need to work for both of these brain parts, and that means you have to be able to touch base with your emotions and your thoughts, and know when to pause and when to push. When to reframe and when to comfort. And when to just get on with it.
Then there’s just life. Things beyond your control, both good and bad. Serendipity. Timing. And on it goes. Here in Boulder County, we just had a firestorm that wiped out 990 homes and businesses. My home is fine, but many of my clients are impacted. This is the stuff that many forecasts predict, including our SoulSavvy monthly forecast.
So again, not a reason to hide under covers (not all the time anyway). We’re in a time of deconstruction where these events are more numerous and threatening. And it’s what you came for. Though this stuff can really derail a plan or goal of course, and maybe that’s then part of the new plan. Trauma and recovery are a high path.
Finally, if you’re a sensitive, creative, here to help the New Earth come in to play, you’re here to heal things. Stuff rises up in the midst of your best laid plans. Triggers, fears, outdated beliefs that need clearing. Ancestral blocks that haven’t yet been mastered. Perfect! Growth Ops! Freakin’ Great, right?
It’s complicated. After the above, you may throw up your hands and feels some despair. YET, it is really worthwhile to still – take the brain and heart – storm time to name your next goals and strategize how to make your soul fired ideas real. And yeah, the start of the year is as good a time as any. One of them at least.
Cut to the chase, do the work fast- here’s the End of Year Clear writing exercise
BEST LAID PLANNING OPTIONS – 4 OPTIONS
So even with the different wiring you may have as an empath, it’s still important to (yawn) clear the old and name the new. Maybe even more important. If you’re just starting on this, you can take the rest of January for it. Do the work as best you can, then let it go. And stuff happens! Good stuff! Yes, I need to check in on these plans and recalibrate / relate to time etc. but it’s so fun to see creation happen.
Let’s keep it simple, and give you some options for how deep you want to dive. Any work you do here makes a difference. The first step is clearing the old, and this is really important. Then the new has more balls. What I mean to say here, is you’ve better incorporated your prior learning into the next courageous dance. Makes for excellent dancing. Choreography! Poetry it is! See it that way… might help.
OPTION 1) REVIEW, CLEAR, REWARD
REVIEW last year. It’s easy to forget big pieces, so use your calendar or picture for reminders.
CLEAR the last year. What do you do to exhale and release things? Without this, life is more constipated. Your review may have revealed some disappointments or regrets – yet what is the learning from these? Naming this helps avoid repetition.
REWARD YOURSELF FOR THE LAST YEAR. Even in tough years like recent ones, do something to honor yourself and your efforts. This is often overlooked, at our peril. It really aids your release to name HOW you will do reward yourself, small or large, and actually DO IT. This is a big deal in planning in general – to stop, breathe and celebrate now and then, even when you’re “not there yet”.
OPTION 2) INCLUDE VALUES IN YOUR GOAL WORK
It’s a good idea to do a value check – what are your values? What’s the WHY behind each goal? What’s at stake if it does or doesn’t happen? These qualities can be very helpful to keep in mind on the days when your motivation flags.
I was so excited to find that this great values exercise has been turned into an “online game” you can play alone or with comrades – it comes from my Motivational Interviewing Trainer world. Integrating values and goals superpowers them. Check it out.
OPTION 3) TAKE TIME TO DREAM YOUR IDEAL DESIRES
You can limit your sense of what is possible for a variety of reasons. Money ceilings inherited from your past or the culture. Old refrains coursing around like I heard from my old biddy ancestors when I planned a pilgrimage to Egypt (Who do you think you are bla bla bla). I hired help this year to break through some more of these. You can push back against these limits and this can be a fun part – naming those ideal dreams (exercises included). Even when the rubber meeting the road will shrink these? Still great fun to expand these dreams now and then. You’ve heard the term, BHAG? Look it up.
AUDIOS TO GUIDE THIS MEDITATION:
Your ideal scene meditation, from Marc Allen’s work
Intuitive aspects of the year ahead – great for the emotional brain anchors
OPTION 4) NAME THE GOALS, THE PROJECTS, THE TIMELINES, THE IDEAL SUPPORT
This is where empaths and creatives can get a bit lost, well speaking for myself. My mastermind buddy laughs at me with my ginormous goals, and I’ve had to learn what a goal is and what the project is – the pieces that make up the goal. Setting deadlines and times to check back – quarterly is a good idea, but some do monthly, weekly etc. What support do you need? This can be as simple as finding an accountability partner who also wants to do the thing. Or an investment like hiring a coach.
Soul Savvy has the new Soul Fired coaching programs to light the way and clear obstacles, when you’re ready to show up as the shaman, creative, jester, way shower you are. This work includes the best therapy tools, but also intuitive readings and a powerful coaching container.
There are both multiple session programs and single session options. You can schedule a free consult here to inquire and get questions answered about how this could help you.
Blessings on your new year, friend, and
Thanks for being here at this critical time.
Denise Barnes, MA, LPC, Rev
Intuitive Coach, Licensed Psychotherapist, Healing Artist in Residence