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3 Counter-Intuitive Humps of Marketing

admin — Tue, 01 May 2012 17:57:39 +0000

There are many places where effective marketing is initially counter-intuitive. Often my ideal clients are superwomen of intuition. That makes it doubly hard to lean into actions that make marketing sense, but go against the grain of what feels right intuitively.

Quite the conundrum! It’s kind of like the hard work required, before you get to the “ease” state you hear about, and so long for.

Often, to get to that level of ease beyond money struggles, and to master the massive confusion of what to do next in your marketing that will work well, you must face fears and limits. You must find the antidote for your money and marketing allergies. You must bravely lean into edges you’d rather avoid.

Perhaps this connection to the counter-intuitive side is why marketing can be so hard for light workers. There are many of these humps; here are three big ones. Bless the blog with a comment on this, or on what helps you decide what to say yes to, when you do invest in some marketing help for your work.

THREE COUNTER-INTUITIVE HUMPS OF MARKETING

Hump One: Using/crafting effective “audio logos” or self intros
What do you do? Oh, I’m a psychotherapist. (sound effect eeeeeehhhhhhhh, i.e., wrong answer) I am kind of shocked that with all the information out there ad nauseum about how to craft an elevator speech, many still either don’t have this know-how, or just can’t bring themselves to use what they know.

The counter-intuitive part: It seems like a simple question, and you want to give a simple answer. The truth: People don’t want the “psychotherapist” answer. They want to know if you can help them, and/or if they should know you. This requires a way different answer. Their ego wants to put you in their mental rolodex, probably never to enter their minds again. Their soul wants a
different answer, if indeed, you can help them, or help someone they know.

Hump Two: Not tooting your horn
This is where you think that everyone should get you and what you do. Regardless of your marketing, they should … well, intuit how great your work is, and how much they need your services. Heck with testimonials, can’t they feel your energy? You shared all the training you’ve had (btw, not part of what they really want to know – nope). And though you seem shy and shakey with your marketing message, they should see beyond that and know you’re a master.

Counterintuitive part: You hate tooting your horn, and when you do it, it’s not the tones that match what they want to hear. The truth: If you don’t lean into tooting, and toot the right tones, you end up just bleeting like one of 60 horns in an intersection in New Delhi. Their soul needs you to toot relevant tones, not just make loud noises, after you’ve temporarily overcome your aversion
to tooting, and overcompensate with a loud “BLAT BLAT BLAT – Phew, glad that’s over!”

Hump Three: Not wanting to bother people or repeat yourself
Remember that noisy intersection of car horns in India? This is similar to the information overload people have to manage to hear your message. Blat blat blat, beepity beep beep, ahooga ahooga. Lots of horns going off, all the time. It’s a jungle out there. Plus there are often other fires your clients are putting out, and stresses they’re dealing with, that are on the front burner.

Counterintuitive part: You might think, “Hey, it’s noisy enough out there without me adding to the racket.” Or, you might refuse to take part in the mayhem and add to the noise pollution. Truth: You don’t have to become a hype-y, blaring marketer, to effectively attract clients. But you may have to go networking when you don’t feel like it. You may have to dig a bit and do some research to create a great message about your work. If you’re in a launch, you may have to send a few more emails than is comfortable. Others’
egos may say, what a pain! But their soul needs you to penetrate the noise, and have you persistently keep herding them to your help.

RECALIBRATING YOUR MARKETING INTUITION

In today’s world, with all the competition and overload, it’s rare that a client will just say YES immediately, even if your work is exactly what they need, and they know it. You’ll need to repeat yourself, and you’ll need to be clear and confident.

Overcoming aversion to these counter-intuitive humps, and finding your spiritually-aligned way to market tastefully and effectively, is part of what’s covered in the Soul Fired Client Attraction Mastermind. It’s a big commitment in a way, to take four months and invest the cash in this comprehensive intensive. Yet it’s got the pieces of the puzzle the books, home study courses and left brain trainings leave out.

For example – what is the the soul fired “why” behind what you do? That helps you lean into these edges, and master the counter-intuitive humps to the land of marketing ease. Plus, you’ll have access to money and marketing allergy antidotes. Finally, once you get over these humps, your intuition will be recalibrated to understand why and how you need to toot your beautiful and
inspiring message, in the most effective and ease-ful way.

This gets you to the next level of ease with money, too, so that you’re beyond struggling to meet the bills, and on to being able to afford health care, massages, vacations and the like.

More importantly, you’re contributing your best gifts. You’re fulfilled and resonating with that contribution you’re here to make.

Your toots will never sound the same – bediddle, bebrumpy beepity boop. Bop BOPPPY Hee hee Ahooga! (And the clients say, “Interesting toot. Tell me more about that … May I have your card?”)

To your happy and more effective tooting,

Denise Barnes

*************************************************

The Soul Fired Client Attraction Mastermind
Two spots left!

Check out the 5 minute video overview:
http://soulsavvy.net/services/soul-fired-client-attraction-mastermind/

Schedule a consult before deadline, midnight 5/1 to apply:
(times available through 5/4/12)

https://my.timedriver.com/XVFZK

DDRR series: Martial Arts Tricks and the Doubt Diva

admin — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 03:12:11 +0000

Just a quickie this time for a Doubt Diva Rescue Remedy idea. Taken from my Self Defense training last Friday night. (Insert kung fu picture here, with Hya! sound effect… Okay it wasn’t exactly like that, but I’ve been into action movies lately…)

What a trip that was! Some 20 of us, transformed from meek and polite Boulderites into badass, screaming scrappers. I’ll spare you the details - and get to the point of what was relevant for our Doubt Diva dance here.

When a person is looking for a victim, they often can tell right away who is a good prospect. One of the nonverbal cues an attacker goes by is eye contact. If they are vibing into you and sussing you out, and you notice and check them out equally – i.e., if you look them in the eye and track them – most often, you’ve just failed the “most likely to be a victim” test.

It’s similar with the Doubt Diva. If you let her lord it over you, she will. If you don’t stand up to her snarky comments and counter them, the echo those snark bombs leave will continue to reverberate and pull you down.

In the world after self defense class, we are counseled to stay aware, and to track any threats. There is a sphere of personal space, and when that is infringed upon, it’s clear we’re being threatened. To take care of ourselves, and stand up for our rights, we wake up and watch. We get big. We ask, WHAT DO YOU WANT? If the threat continues, we yell, LEAVE NOW. And keep repeating that until the attacker leaves (90% of cases). Or, we get to use our other new skills.

With the Doubt Diva, it’s more challenging because she’s invisible. But we can still apply these principles. I wish it were so easy that we could yell, I SEE YOU. And skip to the LEAVE NOW part…

But she might have some wisdom for you under the snark, hard to say. So, when you start to hear that voice, or feel that energy coming upon you, act as though someone just walked into your personal space. Ho! Who is that?! I SEE YOU! (Add expletives if you’re from NJ like me.)

Once you see her, and you say out loud that you do – it’s a whole new game. Then the words she uses are more clear to you, and less of a fog-inducing murmur. That fog thing - it’s harder to wake up to, and harder to challenge. You tend to just be out of commission until you can find your way back, hours, or days, … later.

So talk out loud. This is why folks give me a very wide berth (Kidding… I work at home so I can do these things…) Repeat out loud what she is saying. Sometimes that’s enough to know it’s BS. Sometimes you can say, WHAT DO YOU WANT? (This is a FBI method btw.) And – if it’s a legit request, or need, you’ve just saved yourself time and grief.

Thanks for your feedback so far – I am really stoked for Thursday. We’ll have one more of these DDRRs on Wed – until then, if you’d like to tell others about it, just have them visit this link. And thank you kindly!

http://soulsavvy.net/doubt-diva-dance/

P.S.If you’d like to experiment, try some of these moves above, or write down your Doubt Diva’s specific words when she visits – it’s often quite enlightening. They lose some power when the words get more visible, and the fog doesn’t get a chance to land. Big relief. It’s foggy ’nuff ’round here.

Best wishes for your next courageous steps,

Denise Barnes

From Amazon Undies to Vulnerability

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 16:00:54 +0000

This is part of a Doubt Diva Rescue Remedy series ~ See below for details ~ and pipe up with your questions on the inner Diva of Doubt. Sometimes she’s wise, sometimes just a PIA.

Well, it figures. Right after I was all fearless and trying out the Amazon (big girl) panties and suggesting you do the same, guess who visited me Wednesday?

Yes, the Doubt Diva, that sneaky, cheeky gal. Oh no, I am not exempt, despite our familiarity. She snuck in Tuesday night with a masterful strategy. Out of the blue, in walking on my wood floor, a very aggressive splinter slid into the ball of my foot. Weird, and ouch! I took my sock off, and a 1/2 inch piece of wood said “Hi. Like the thong.”

I thought I got it all out, but the bottom of your foot is hard to see. Then later that night, a shooting pain told me – this might not be over. So an unexpected setback, an unplanned delay – a small one – but one that would take time, and resources, to deal with.

Now the Doubt Diva can cause you to limp a bit, but it’s usually not medically related! She was pulling no punches. That splinter was not in my plans. With all there was to do – things were speeding up – more details than there was time. Yet, a blessing in disguise this delay became, however testy I was.

The first stage of that slowing down wasn’t so conscious. In hindsight, the shy sides of myself were anxious about teaching the Doubt Diva teleclass. Those sides of self do prefer the more introverted path. You know, staying in bed under the covers, lol.

That morning my grand plans were waylaid with a trip to the nurse practitioner. She had better instruments (forceps vs. sewing needle), much better light and a much better-angled view of that sensitive bottom of my tootsie. And indeed, there was a little sliver of splinter still awaiting liberation.

It’s amazing what pain and revision of plans a teensy piece of wood can bring. A brilliant metaphor was afoot – forgive the pun. In fact, the more vulnerable side of stepping out needed to be honored.

Getting out there with your soul work can involve more visibility than the nervous-inner-kid-under-the-covers prefers. Often you might think you need to ignore these sides of self or drag them along scared and protesting. Usually, you’re not even aware they’re triggered, but you know there’s less joy in your work at the moment, and you are just compelled to read that novel during work hours…

When these sides of self aren’t included, though, they cause all kinds of havoc. I notice for example, a big increase in comfort eating. The soul savvy approach requests all parts of self be gently included, reassured when needed, and integrated. Indeed, healed. And sometimes there’s more mac and cheese temporarily – ah well, soul work expansions can be messy, and non-vegan. (In my case, you see why much hiking is needed It took a few more hours of unplanned break time before I once again re-membered my full self and got back to more balanced work. Turns out the Doubt Diva’s visit in this case spurred me to a healing adjustment. Just like chiropractic adjustments realign and reset our spines, these healing adjustments on the soul work journey readjust our full selves to more alignment. More full-self functionality returns. I needed – just like with the splinter – better light, better tools, and a view from a different angle.

We’ll talk more about those healing side trails the Doubt Diva can lead us to in Thursday’s teleclass. The Doubt Diva’s dance steps include having that ability to slow down, and check for any healing adjustments she may be inviting. (This is maybe 1/3 of the time she visits.)

Meanwhile, my foot is fine. I’ll hike a lovely trail on Sunday. I wish you a lovely weekend. And please forward this little missive to any soul-work-driven friends and colleagues, if they might benefit from some of Thursday’s cutting edge paradigm. (See Teleseminar details in the next section).

With warmest light-blazing blessings, and gratitude for your presence,

Denise Barnes
Doubt Diva translator on the path to soul genius

********************************************************************

Creative and healing arts pros ~

Have you ever noticed – doubts can be right on, or a whole load of BS.

Either way, these doubts cost you lots of lost time and thus, money, on the path to soul genius.

Even more costly - the loss of momentum in hope, inspiration and heart.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could tell when your doubts are worthy of attention?
Or, when you need to breakthrough the distraction of those fears and take that leap?

If your answer is YES – then this soul savvy teleseminar is for you:

DANCING WITH THE DOUBT DIVA

Three essential keys for discerning the wisdom from the BS

When to honor – and ignore – the Doubt Diva – so you can keep moving toward your soul genius work

In this free teleclass, you’ll learn:

The three cases where magical thinking will not help your cause
The big myth about bypassing limiting beliefs that sabotages authenticity
How to tell a healthy growth edge from a chasm too deep and wide to cross yet
The benefits to knowing instantly if Doubt Diva’s advice is wise or BSing you blind

To get your free access to this fast-paced, enlightening teleseminar packed with unconventional knowledge and soul savvy common sense, sign up here. You’ll also get a tour of the Doubt Diva Rescue Remedy - Inspirational Stories and tips for Artists and Healers - at no extra charge.

Let’s get your genius work out there! Now is the time.

Denise Barnes
Soul Work Adventure Guide

P.S. If you are tired of seesawing between enlivening dreams and discouraging doubts, and you know your truest genius AND your income are ready to grow, you’ll want to be on this call..

Claim your spot now.

The High Cost of Doubt

admin — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:48:00 +0000

If this is a story that you can relate to – and you’d like to learn some soul savvy secrets for befriending that organic doubt, I’d love you to join me in next week’s teleclass, the Doubt Diva Dance. More info here.

I was just speaking with a past client last week (pseudonym Julie), and celebrating her mega success after the Quantum Leap program. Yes, it took some time – and yes, those planted seeds took root into a lovely new reality.

She was one of the smart ones who got help. Maybe she’d had it up to here with the lack of confidence, and all that flailing uncertainty. She certainly was feeling the call to upgrade her soul work and make a bigger contribution, as many of you are now.

Here’s the thing – she had good support in her life. Partner, friends, savvy community. But she knew she needed more objective feedback and more accountability. She’d had the vision and the clues. She knew her current work was draining and dead-ending.

She didn’t know how to make this soul work upgrade happen – she just knew it was time. She took the courageous step of honoring her impulse that the “quantum leap” program was a good fit for her situation. She leapt, and then did the work to stay on track.

Then boof! The universe stepped in with the ideal job announcement. The previous employee had held the position for 22 years. Let the games begin, the universe grins!

UH OH – SIX THOUSAND VISITORS? AND, ER – HOW MANY APPLICANTS?

That vision stage is great, in a lot of ways. There are still a lot of questions to answer, but ah, the clues and insights can be so inspiring and purpose-enlivening. It’s kind of the honeymoon phase of manifesting, the playful stage of creating what you want. Bring on the crayons!

Then, your foot needs to press on the pedal. The rubber bows to the road. In this case, there were 6000 web visitors checking out this ideal job. That’s when the inner doubts can flame up big time. I’ve got a name for this wealth-of-doubts rock star – the Doubt Diva.

In my client’s case, besides the potentially brutal competition – there was a major relocation that would be involved. Oh the Doubt Diva was gleefully rubbing her hands. This discouragement dance would be a piece of cake. Just think of all that trouble involved in uprooting from friends and family. That would be way too taxing, depressing… (amazon begins to shrink and spiral down.)

Honeymoon’s over. Yet the good news – this is when you know you are truly leaning in to your vision’s reality show. The comfortable Ah stage gives way to the AHHHH!!! stage. I don’t believe the myths anymore that this rubber meets the road stage is easy. (A good book on this – Outlier, by Malcolm Gladwell – cliff notes – success takes a decade and tons of support.)

It’s almost like the universe asks you – is this really what you want?

THE VISION TO REALITY DRAFTING TABLE

Your first vision is a rough draft, not the final say. There is an art to paying attention to what comes up in response, and evaluating it. This option might not look exactly like your vision – in fact, it could be a total mutation of the original request. Yet – when you glance again, you realize – it has every ingredient you did wish for. You’re just not in Kansas anymore…

Soul work upgrade take persistence, faith, and some complicated maneuvering. Never mind tools and support. Yet when you aim yourself truly – can you see what a fun process it can get to be? Especially after a bit of practice with mastering the fears and Doubt Diva distractions that arise, each and every time you expand. And let’s hope that is often.

Imagine after a while, having tea with your Doubt Diva, and seeing her arrival as a good sign. Now that’s progress.

IT’S A SAD STORY WHEN THE DOUBT DIVA WINS

The Doubt Diva can appear to be a formidable opponent who fights you tooth and nail – but she really isn’t interested in winning. It’s just part of her job description to help you clear the doubts that organically arise. Think of it as an energetic insprection before the house of your dream is purchases. Are your support beams (systems) in place to support this bigger house?

I’ve talked to successful therapists who have been in practice for 30 years. When they are leaning into a new edge of their work, even with all that background and expertise, they still have doubts.

The saddest thing is when doubts that are meant to be a test or an invitation to get clearer – totally derail you from your dream. Oh the vision may keep circling and arising – but that lost heart, and damaged hope is very costly. Sometimes you never pick up the vision again.

Luckily, my client’s story had a happy ending. Oh sure, those 6000 visitors brought up fears – and that relocation factor caused some upheaval. But in the sacred coaching container, it was clear she needed to keep that option open – and a sane day job (which ended up making her a better candidate for the new job).

After the flurry of doubts passed, she got committed to make the best damn application she could, and even get it in early. After nine months, three rounds of interviews, and besting the eighteen other qualified applicants, Julie got the dream upgrade job. Woo hoo!

Would she have persisted without the support? Percentage-wise, far too many get stopped. Far too many lose hope, and lose heart – in a way that their momentum is never recaptured. And that is one of the most expensive problems of the decade.

My best to your dream upgrades,

Denise Barnes

I’ll never forget the time I was homeless …

admin — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 20:55:56 +0000

Enjoy this guest blog from colleague Jennifer Hofmann, of http://www.InspiredHomeOffice.com

For one night

I’d just returned from visiting my family for the holidays when the taxi dropped me off at midnight. I stood at the back door in the dark, fumbling for my keys – and couldn’t find them. Stunned, I realized I’d locked my house key inside before I’d left for my trip. There I stood, exhausted from my travels, shivering in the cold, and unable to enter my own home.

This was back in the days before cell phones. I couldn’t call for help. I couldn’t call a locksmith. Being new to the neighborhood, I didn’t dare knock on a neighbor’s door at that hour. I eventually I found a payphone and called the police, but they wouldn’t agree to break into the house for me. I had stopped thinking rationally. I seriously considered breaking a window, but I was renting and couldn’t see explaining my actions to the owner (who was out of state for the week).

After about an hour or two,I remembered that the unattached garage was unlocked. I tell you, a garage never felt so welcoming. Fully clothed, I crawled into a sleeping bag, shed some tears of frustration and shame, and fell asleep.

When the sun rose, I was thinking more clearly. I made a few more payphone calls and then asked a neighbor if I could call a locksmith. Within 20 minutes, my problem was solved.

Lessons learned

Strategy. One of the lessons is an organizing rule: if it (whatever it is) happens once, chances are good that it will happen again. So plan for it. Within a day of my homelessness, I copied the house key and installed a sturdy outdoor lockbox. I’ll never have a repeat of this incident (knock wood). And the combination I used is intuitive — it’s the first thing that comes to mind when I stand in front of that box. No remembering required. No more sleeping in the garage.

Solidarity. Even though I had a home to go to, I felt solidarity with fellow human beings who make-do with less than a dry garage and a sleeping bag. In fact, on my way to the payphone that morning, I chatted with a homeless man. He gave me his sympathies for my hardship (?!) and I gave him the small amount of cash I had with me. It was one of those moments when you know, deep down, that the separateness of our fates is only an illusion. All our warm hearts beat together.

Simplicity. Last year I volunteered at a at-risk/homeless teen shelter and we held an event for the kids at Christmas. What made it worthwhile were their faces as they received needed items like warm coats, hair brushes, socks… things that most of us take for granted.

While physical objects are helpful, they don’t bring us happiness. What does bring us happiness is the sense of safety we feel in our world, the support to overcome tremendous odds, and the degree to which we claim our ability to choose.

The key

Being organized can create a sense of safety, but it can also put is in touch with the uncertainty of life when our systems fail. May we learn to embrace the blessings of both as we journey though life.

Jennifer Hofmann was not born organized. In fact, having ADD and a hummingbird personality meant she was surrounded by the clutter of projects she never finished and she struggled to keep up with everyday tasks. Using a few simple practices, Jennifer transformed her life and workspace. The clutter went away and she stays focused on tasks to completion.

Because Jennifer truly understands what it’s like to struggle with clutter, her clients love the deep compassion she brings to the organizing process. For the Inspired Home Office blog, newsletter and great resources, visit inspiredhomeoffice.com.

Six Ways to Create Grace-Inviting Vacuums

admin — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 21:16:30 +0000

My friend Leslie and I were indulging in a bit of supercallafragillistic … dark chocolate. The kind that makes your eyes roll up in the back of your head. Okay, exaggerating – it was very yummy. The last piece was close upon us.

Leslie passes it to a homeless man on the corner.

Whoa! I gasp and sputter. And then realize, ah… This is Leslie creating healthy wealth in her life. No, she’s not in the zero to six figures in sixty seconds club. She’s not driving the sexy sports car, or eating often in fancy restaurants. Yet she’s so loved, so esteemed, and amazingly, her needs get taken care of. Plus, there is so much beauty she creates in her life, this creative vixen everyone wants a blessed piece of.

Aha! THIS is – the vacuum before grace. This empty space she created by not finishing her supercalla-chocolate plate.

Grace needs room to land. Grace likes places spiced with trust. Yet, it’s not easy in our work/play twelve hour days – finish your plate – lack of slack world – to create a grace-inviting vacuum.

Want more grace in your life? Let’s play with this idea.

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF SNOW HIKING

It’s the in between time for hiking in the Rockies. Snow drifts tall as people get hard enough to walk on in early morning hours. Once it warms up, your leg punches through deep in a frustrating fall called “post-holing”. You pull that leg up, hoping the other won’t follow suit. You try to walk fast and light, especially when on sunny snow.

Eventually, it’s time to put the snowshoes on. Even then, I still had an amazing snowshoe-d left hook/curved leg post-hole that took two of us to dig me out of. Phew!

It was worth it. Four miles in, a stop at a lake was windless, ever so warm and astonishingly quiet. Mount Audubon had our backs. An amazon skier told us of his amazing journey to the peak beyond that, Mount Toll.

With the walking and the trees and the fresh mountain air, my mind, body, heart and soul get cleansed and rebooted. The housecleaning and food prep waits. The inspiration and ideas flow freely, and my core smiles again.

THE WAYS THAT DON’T – LEAD TO WAYS THAT DO

Many are clearer on what they don’t want, versus what they do. Let’s use this. Name the things that you’d guess don’t invite grace, and turn them into practices that do.

What crowds out grace in your life? Some might include:

Too full schedules – even fun things can feel a burden when over-scheduled
Lack of breaks in the work day, and the general sense of do do do til you drop
Inability to say no when intuition has already made the case for it
Lack of taking time to plan, to prioritize, to schedule the self care
Repeatedly doing the mindless things you know don’t work to decrease stress

All righty then – let’s turn these around from grace crowd outs, to grace inflators:

Use the timer to take a break every working hour – touch in with grace and intention
Morning practice that clarifies your priorities, what you’re inviting and creating
Just saying no – before worrying how you’ll say it or explain – (that won’t work, sorry)
Food or alcohol or sugar cleanses / breaks
Friday/Sunday eve or Monday morning planning rituals (add chocolate or favorite chai)
Unscheduled time – unscheduled time – say it again – unscheduled time, even minutes
Dancing, cafes, creativity – creatively dancing in cafes? Singing in the car. Walking.
Mindfully doing the mindless, while inserting self love, compassion and curiosity about how this works, and what else might work

YOUR MISSION

Take a moment when you can, and breathe and center. Connect with your emotional state, your heart right now. Invite in the divine, the great white light of higher intelligence, or the great spaghetti god of your choosing. Ask to be filled with the higher quality of Trust, or something similar.

While you are thusly connected and grounded, ask to see six ways you can create more vacuums for grace.

Mine: Nature, getting outside in the yard in the morning for movement practice, hourly breaks and movement/boogie shake outs, weekly planning session happy hours, planned café work time, and “hammock time” – e.g., scheduled unscheduled time for reading, resting, musing.

I don’t yet have a hammock, but I can visualize can’t I? (That sturdy woven hammock is part of my Hawaiian beach visualization template though).

Write those six ways down. Email them to me or a friend – comment below. Try it for two weeks and let me know how much more grace gets sucked into your life. This sucks – in a good way.

Cheers to your grace-creating vacuums,

Denise

Your Money Energy Body Image

admin — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 13:47:15 +0000

You’ve got your physical body; you’ve got your emotional body. Imagine if your money energy has a body, or an energetic frame. How is that money energy body image doing right now? Let’s see how you might bless and strengthen it.

Once upon a time when I was twenty-nine, I left grad school with a Master’s degree (yay!) and 33 grand in debt (ugh). Even with the passing of time, some things never change. For example, I’m still twenty-nine. And, though my “healthy wealth status” has grown to a whole new level, I can still find both yay and ugh aspects to my finances and money energy.

It seems you often have – simultaneously – a bit of the yay and the ugh for any given situation. Let’s call it the Yay/Nay Factor. With your money scene, you’ll have places finances are growing and feeling strong. On the other hand, you’ll have places you’re feeling stretched, challenged – maybe even hopeless and discouraged.

One big spiritual key regards how you hold the energy as you grow and shift. You’re meditating and you start thinking lusty thoughts, or start working on the “to do” list. What is the quality of your refocusing – chastising, kind? It’s rare to turn monkey mind to monk mind permanently. But at any moment, you can catch up with that more conscious side of yourself, and say, Yo, Ahoy there matey. Pass the rum, will ya?

PHYSICAL BODY IMAGE, MONEY BODY IMAGE

With my training as a somatic (body-based) psychotherapist, I’ve seen that for women, body image tells volumes. You have beauty-filled physical qualities, and those … shall we say, less inspiring attributes. With your best and worst sides, what do you focus on? How, energetically speaking, do you hold the dichotomy, that edge-of-becoming-but-not-quite-there-yet gap? It may not be a Jekyll and Hyde contrast, but there can be quite a gap there.

I have a very clear memory of when I was finishing my one woman show and wearing a rather skimpy, colorful costume. A friend called me skinny (yep, she’s still on the payroll). I felt compelled to counter the compliment by pointing out my historical nemesis – my belly zone. Don’t you see this, my dear? How can I be skinny with this imperfect padding? Looking back, she was right – but perspective is so relative, and ever changing, eh?

ENTER THE MONEY BELLY (OR NOSE, THIGHS, BUTTSKI)

Your money energy body image (MEBI) holds the full picture of your wealth continuum – your money zone strengths and weaknesses, places of integrity, places that don’t make you as proud. You may be making great strides, yet only see your “money belly” so to speak, that challenging zone of your financial picture.

For me, the body image challenge zone is the belly. What is your metaphor for your MEBI challenge zone? It’s best to customize your unique approach to creating healthy wealth, IMHO. Here’s your chance. Are your money thighs or money butt a thorn in your side? Could even be a money nose I s’pose, huh.

You’ve probably heard that saying, what you focus on grows – a scary yet illuminating thought for money bellies/thighs/butts. Perhaps you’re taking on more debt or staying more unconscious with money than you’d like. Or you’re stretching but scared. When you do decide to wake up to the challenges – the Ahoy matey moment – how will you hold the energy?

Can you love your money belly/nose/thighs/butt? The big question is – when you wish to wake up inside the current money nightmare, do you scream Bad Girl/Ugly Money Belly! Or, do you, with compassionate eyes and a merciful heart say, “Ah, Welcome Back my Friend. Let’s breathe, and clear those sleep nuggets out of your eyes. You’re so much more than your money, you spiritual adventurer in disguise.”

SUGGESTIONS FOR BLESSING AND STRENGTHENING YOUR MEBI ^(TM)

Let’s play with this first on the physical level. Name the most and least lovely ends of your body image continuum. One side is your challenge zone and one side is your lovely zone. Good and cool.

Then, let’s name the most-and-least-lovely ends of your wealth continuum. Excellent. Now, merge the physical body image book ends and the MEBI book ends of the continuum. What teachings or clues do they offer to your situation?

For example, my healthy wealth continuum book ends: my “money belly” – being behind on my taxes. The sexy legs of my MEBI – courageously developing my soul work strength.

MEBI Leg notes: These legs are advancing, and are able to stretch and cover new ground. Damn money legs, you rock.

MEBI Belly clues:

Hmmm…The belly is a most vulnerable, tender area. To work with that, I might put my hands there and hold it with love. Might question the cultural close-minded – ness that labels this ugly and how I buy into that at times. And, hmmm, if I extend that energy to my pile of receipts, I might question that autopilot self criticism – being behind on taxes means I’m slacking. To the contrary, I’ve been otherwise well engaged. And there is time to handle this (soon, let’s hope).

Wow – after this, I might approach my taxes with a whole different belly sense, I mean energy.

What else can you tell me money belly, oh sturdy reservoir of em, wisdom in disguise?

Soul Savvy Bottom Line: Okay, this all might be a bit of a wacky stretch – that’s the Soul Savvy approach J. Yet, how you hold the edges of your healthy wealth continuum can make a big difference to your success and happiness.

Making Money Lemonade

admin — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:42:47 +0000

Comics are skilled at injecting hilarity into sometimes difficult or depressing areas. One area that you don’t see as much joking is in the money zone. Maybe there is material to be found in the global or national debt crises, or the financial follies handed from one political administration to the next. But generally speaking, money isn’t as popular on the Last Comic Standing show.

I was reminded of this when talking with a past client last week. Luanne has come a long way with our work, but she will not “whitewash” the fact that this was NOT fun for her. Money is one of her spots, she says – it’s painful to deal with. Even with the levity I did at times bring to the work, I could not change the “crushing-ness” of facing their money woes. Our coaching may have made it “less miserable” – but it’s still far from a joy zone, or something that would make Luanne throw the covers off gleefully in the morning as she’s facing the day.

The big money pains for Luanne were, well big – a large debt load, less than conscious spending, and the toughest – bad money communication with her husband, the love of her life in all other areas. Yes, it really did suck at the time. I’m happy to report things are better, communication is fine, and they’ve been able to make some hard decisions which enabled huge momentum. And they now have weekly money meetings, an excellent practice for money and marriage.

While their money challenges haven’t disappeared completely, there’s been a massive perspective shift. Wouldn’t it be great if you can manage that perspective in the midst of money challenges? With any desired change you want to create, even a teensy shift of mind, and a baby step of action, can make a huge difference …

PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING

Martial artists talk about their physical center of gravity being the tan tien, an area three fingers width below the belly button. This is the anchor of their power and strength as they practice and duel. Lose that center, and boof! They fall down and go boom.

In the martial art of making peace with money, your center of gravity is just as important. It’s so easy to get heavily “anchored” into the angst and the woes of money challenges. That “crushing-ness” Luanne speaks of is a big energy, and it’s hard to hold with balance. It’s hard to remember your truest center when money is too tight, and those worries are constantly rising.

Perhaps this is where the bigger spiritual picture can lend a hand. When you connect to spiritual reality, you can remember you are not ONLY this human having a bad money experience. Yes, you are certainly an apprentice in money martial arts land, getting exposed to all types of potential discipline and mind control training. You can take the course for metaphysical practices, as well as checkbook balancing. So many options!

In the bigger reality, we are spirits in a material world. What happens to your perspective when you look at your money scene with spiritually-wise eyes, or listen to the woes with your heart’s ears?

If these were money lemons in your lap, what would the lemonade recipe instructions be?

For Luanne, the yuck of last spring’s money work ended up being an opportunity to heal some past money baggage that had originated in both of their previous marriages. They can breathe a lot easier now that they are more aware of these patterns as they rise. Oh, it’s you! Get along now…

And for this great couple, money has become another life area that can be a healthy ingredient in their delicious intimacy – rather than something that causes stomach aches.

Soul Savvy Bottom Line:

No matter how negative your money situation feels, you can hold compassionate awareness for your situation. Remember the larger spiritual perspective, and wonder about the flavor of soul lemonade you are creating from your money martial arts training.

Talk back: Perspective shifts when challenged are incredibly hard to manage. What works or doesn’t work for you?

God ‘s Original Sin

admin — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:29:22 +0000

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. – Bible, Genesis, King James Version

Ed. note: Original Sin is an construct of the Catholic religion, which deems that children are born with sin, thus the sacrament of Baptism, which clears the nasties and sets them right. Plus the adults get to have a party and celebrate the glorious birth.

We Puritans haven’t always had the best models for working with ease. After all, the big holy Dude himself, Lord God Almightiest, seemingly worked his ass off when he created heaven and earth. Okay, maybe day one’s task, “Let there be light” isn’t a twelve hour day – it’s hard to know. Yet in that amazingly creative week, God took one day off. One of seven.

A recent article in Fast Company makes the case for the 21 hour work week. Perhaps it’s finally time to admit that technology hasn’t necessarily achieved its idealized goal of creating more leisure time – and finally take action about it. Guess what? There is actually a case to be made that shorter work weeks are more economical, BESIDES more sanity, spirituality and creativity-engendering.

Here is an excerpt:

The NEF argues we need to achieve truly happy lives; we need to challenge social norms and reset the industrial clock ticking in our heads. It sees the 21-hour week as integral to this for two reasons: it will redistribute paid work, offering the hope of a more equal society (right now too many are overworked, or underemployed). At the same time, it would give us all time for the things we value but rarely have time to do well such as care for our family, travel, read or continue learning (as opposed to feeding consumerism).

When you work in and on your own business, the list of things to create and do can seem as daunting as creating a universe. It’s so easy to overwork. It’s easy to always feel behind and to set unrealistic expectations. That can lead to cranky, resentful, and off target workers who are not present. You’d then be off resonance with the law of attraction’s opportunities, never mind those you work and play with.

TIPS FOR THE 21 HOUR WORK WEEK MINDSET

Soul-inspired business owners (SIBOs) and creative professionals can easily land in the trap of overwork. Even when you are aiming toward working with ease, there could be that sense of needing to climb mountains first, before the slide into the fabled ease valley.

For some of my hard working clients, the core limiting belief is not far off – e.g., of being flawed and trying to make up for it, or to unconsciously attempt to prove their worth through their overwork. I know this one too. CUT! How about we try on this framework?

You are in the perfect place right now. Want better fitness, partner, and income? Right – AND you are perfect as you are. There is always an edge of becoming – Abraham calls this Contrast, and suggests you appreciate the gap.

Your being is a great gift on the planet, and there is no TO DO that changes that or enhances that. It is enough and it is wondrous. (If that is hard to believe or rankles you, try the core belief process to investigate the particular limiting belief that may be operating for you. Or use it when you feel you just HAVE TO put another few hours in…)

PRACTICAL TIPS

Realistic planning can elude many creative professionals – after all, there is so much possibility you see. Staying focused on what is most important takes dedication and clarity.

In the last article, I reviewed Peter Bregman’s productivity book 18 Minutes. I’ll repeat one of his suggestions here: Pick 5 things for the year to focus on – 3 for work, 2 for the personal area. See that all of your daily actions relate to those.

Other ideas for realistic planning: Choose 2-3 projects for the next 3 months / per quarter. At the start of the week, and the end of the day, plan the actions you’ll next work on, and actually plug them into the corresponding hour of that day’s schedule.

Finally, before you check email or social media, work on the Most Important Thing first. It’s already in your schedule at this point, so give it 45 minutes, and make some progress. That’s a great way to start the day.

MAGICAL TIPS

In your subscription gift, Four Keys to Healthy Wealth, key one describes the practice of indentifying the “higher quality” your desire would bring to you. Before you attract this reality, you can magnetize it by embodying that quality – doing things that allow you to experience the quality now. This can be so helpful. When you do the inner magnetizing work before starting the hands on work, it often makes creating your desire easier. Check it out.

And it can redirect you right quick too, if you’re working too hard or doing something else that undermines attaining your desire. For example, what higher quality will the result of my work bring me? Ease, joy. Engaged peace. Right away it’s a no brainer to see that working too hard – yep. Defeating my purpose, isn’t it?

I stand corrected, reset, renewed, lovingly chastised, doh!, and grateful for the turn around.

Soul Savvy bottom line: The new paradigm of work and money is being created as we speak. That starts with the energy of your work day. No doubt you’ll need to push your edge in many courageous ways. Too driven in terms of hours and scheduling? Try injecting ease now with realistic planning and prioritizing. Even before that, magnetize. I’ll be experimenting too – let’s keep in touch how it goes.

Yours in prosperity, passion, AND ease,

Denise

PS Do you struggle with this too? Or, are you already a master of working with ease? Let’s tawk! Comment below.

PSS Would you like to share Four Keys to Healthy Wealth? Please send friends here to subscribe. Thanks.

The New Productivity Religion: Review of 18 Minutes

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 23:12:06 +0000

I have a confession about a productivity guru shift of allegiance. I used to worship Getting Things Done (GTD) author David Allen. His system covered everything under the sun that needed tracking and systematizing in your life and business.

He had you look at the big picture, and then narrow down your vision to impeccably track the multitude of details. You could use paper, you could use digital tools – but you’d have a file or tickler for every thing under the sun you need to keep on top of.

In theory, this is an awesome system. But one of the complaints was – it was too detailed and took too long to set up. David would suggest you just take a weekend and put his system in place. Most found the weekend or several days didn’t cut it.

Possibly this was because you’d have to convert your whole system of files and information to his system, and then keep the work flowing and organized in that way. A big hurdle. You’d also have to keep working with the GTD system daily and weekly – another weak point for many.

Karen – if you’re listening – you were right. I hope you were able to recycle the GTD books I gave you. (She never was convinced of GTD – even if I insisted the author was one of the buddhas of business).

THE NEW RELIGION OF PRODUCTIVITY AND PRIORITIZING

At any rate friends, I have a new productivity religion to run by you. I read the book in a day or two, and that next week, I felt I increased productivity by a 33-50%. This is always a conglomeration of factors, granted. (I learned a neat mindset trick too that week via another book – I’m psyched to share that with you soon.)

But here’s the deal – this system is very very simple. I was going to say, there is no system, but that’s not true. It’s so darn simple, there is maybe an hour to set it up. And then it takes 18 minutes a day to stay on track with it – less for some.

If there is any criticism of Peter Bregman’s book and productivity guide, 18 Minutes, it’s that some may find it isn’t detailed enough – it’s too open-ended. But in this day and age, when distraction is threatening a full-scale takeover, this book may give you the boost you need, without the hours and total revamping of your current tracking and filing systems.

TIME TO ADMIT WE CAN’T DO IT ALL?

The book is called 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction and Get the Right Things Done. Ah, that subtitle gives the heart hope, doesn’t it? Here we are in January, looking over that vision list from last year, and … well, it’s not uncommon to have some of the same areas to put right back on that vision list.

Progress is made, but maybe not as much as hoped, eh?

The book is divided into four parts: Overview, Find your focus, Get the right things done, and Mastering distraction. The format is simple, and kind of cool. Those four sections each have short, bite-size chapters, with solid suggestions. And like any good book, there are stories to help illustrate the teaching – personal and business stories that really work.

The book has 46 chapters, and it’s my guess that each of us will resonate to the gems that are most relevant. In this way, the book will be one you’ll likely benefit from re-reading, as you master some of the skills. I’ll share my 5 big take-aways to give you an idea of some of Bregman’s wisdom.

1) You can juggle 5 things – manage 5 “projects”. Peter suggests you choose 3 business areas, and 2 personal areas to focus on for the year. Only 5 (first name fix). Then you only take on work and activities that relate to these areas. While not a new concept, he restates this with clarity and conviction. He makes the case that:

2) You can’t do it all. This is a mistake of the productivity gurus (sorry David). Maybe that was prior to 2012’s acceleration maze – when the current thinking was you could do it all, have it all – you just had to have a great system. No. Pick 5 things, and learn to say no.

3) Avoid switch-tasking. Wow, here’s a mind blower. Peter disagrees with the term multi-tasking. You can’t do two things at once, it’s true. And research shows not only is it more stressful, it’s just NOT effective. This will be a hard one to implement, but it resonates with me.

4) Saying when and where. Okay – you know the tasks for the week. And if you’re like me, you know you’re SUPPOSED to actually write those things in your calendar – but they don’t actually get there. Or, didn’t used to. That’s how the 33-50% more got done.

5) The value of getting things half right. Peter advises not that you “settle” for imperfection, but aim for it. Perfectionism stops more progress – it must be a first cousin of fear, don’tcha think? Uh-oh, I see a new comedy show. This concept prevented a lot more stalls (and was half of that mindset trick I mentioned), as I prepared for last week’s talk.

GET THE RIGHT THINGS DONE

So if you can’t get it all done, Bregman’s book just might help you get the right things done. And, it will certainly give you lots of little gems and food for thought to apply to your needs, and strengthen your ability to master distraction.

How might next January look, if you stay on task with that vision list?

Yours in making dreams reach reality,

Denise Barnes