Who is Tina Tomasichio? And what color hair does she have now? Tina, aka Tina T, is a comedy character created by Denise Barnes, founder of SoulSavvy.net and usually quite a straight-forward kind of gal. Since 1999 when Tina showed up as a whisper in her ear gradually increasing in volume, Denise has been under her influence. Tina’s ubiquitous presence, comments and unsolicited advice caused Denise to coin the term, “altar” ego, and other “altars” have followed in Tina’s choppy wake.
Tina Tomasichio, Bayonne, NJ native, is the Prime Ministress of the Church of the Madonna Worshippers United, the MAD WUs. The church was born in the late 90s, a time when Tina’s awakening through Madonna’s Ray of Light album paralleled Mel Gibson’s obsession with Christ’s passion. Due to extreme transformational circumstances, Tina was forced to become a Jersey expat and move to Boulder, Colorado – where Street Smart collided with the New Age. “Oh, yeah, I went to a ton of those Boulder workshops -they have millions of them! Then I created my own sorta shortcuts to get to the heart of the matter, because Yo! There is no time to lose here by attending, e.g., a three year meditation retreat. Hello!”
Tina’s MAD WU ministry offers oddly effective risqué practices* to generate energy for reclaiming global unity. Revise Religion Radically, the 3Rs, is a prime directive of the MAD WUs. As a neophyte activist, Tina’s down to earth political views had the most sophisticated analysts nodding and grinning. They weren’t quite as comfortable when Tina insisted on leading the audience in MAD WU practices designed to harness genital steam** for the world peace engine.
“These days I go by a new nomenclature – High Priestess of the Red-Blue Union. Because whether red or blue, we usually want the same things. It’s just these silly think tanks that get the linguistic battles going and get us all charged up and fightin’ with our neighbors. Enough! We gotta be kind, like the Dalai Lama dude points out. And we gotta share. It is pretty simple really – kindergarten principles – though Denise skipped kindergarten. I guess there is a little making up for lost time here with that disadvantage”. Tina leading mudra practice on the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder, CO.
These days, Tina’s continuing education focus is finding ways for busy lightworkers to keep it light, and stay connected with the meaningful things, while they multi-task their way to heaven. “Yo to youse, are you having fun yet? ‘Cause the view from the end zone is not very forgiving, if you have left your Goddess-given passions unexplored. No matter how clean the house was. And believe me, I have spent way many hours fighting the dust bunnies, being a mom of two boys. Who have not provided grandchildren as of yet, BTW.”
*e.g., The Kick Ass Belly Breath, The Genital Breath Meditation, The Cleavage Mudra (also The Ass Mudra, The Male Parts Mudra), and the quasi communion rite, Orgasm for Peace Practice, or “OFPs for short – no time to lose and all”.
**Note: The Genital Breath Meditation is a contemplative practice and does not include public wiggling of any kind. Orgasms for Peace are usually done at home, by consenting adults, but instructions are updated and revisions often suggested in MAD WU services.
Tina and practitioners in the throes of the cleavage mudra – it’s only the beginning there.
Audience and MAD WU member comments:
This woman is hilarious! Tina Tomasichio, High Priestess of Whatevah (from Bayonne, NJ) . . . spoofs all things New Age, old age, and everything in between. (Did I mention that she is a devotee of Madonna?) A tiny Tina-ism: “Stop, Be Still and Chill.”
– Lynn Grasberg, Speaker and Entertainer
This lady is Gilda Radner, Jane Curtain and Kuan Yin all rolled into one. Just bleeping outrageous . . . as funny as anything I’d every seen on Saturday Night Live . . . it is so good. And especially funny to me because actually I was born near Bayonne, NJ – Perth Amboy – but I knew so many people like Tina. Oh my goodness.
– Dr. Richard Shane, Musician, Psychologist, and Sleep Expert
(One of her gifts is) her ability to synthesize – a sexual, feminist, political pundit with a psych/body work background who sings like an angel and is into energy . . .
– HD, Boulder
Youse made my night last night . . . haven’t laughed that hard since my cousin Joey dropped his pants while changing his tire on the jersey turnpike . . . would write more . . . but hands are tired after all those mudras . . . and panting . . . I mean chanting. XO.
JL, from the shore, fuh shore
. . . One of the most Hilarious stand up acts . . . I have EVER seen (after living in New York City for 31 years). You were so funny . . . Do you know that I never laugh at “comedians” because I find them so intellectual and actually boring but I was SCREAMING over your act!!!!!!!!
– KL, Boulder
Her work itself could be characterized by two works: Passion and Humor. She writes creative material which pushes the envelope of convention into the next dimension. Simultaneously, she delivers the material in a very down to earth manner, playing to the lowest common denominator in us all. Finally, even if I’m left with my world view a little shaken, I always walk away uplifted, as she presents herself with love.
– Bob Wiz, Musician, Composer, Producer
Even when she is playing an outrageous character, (e.g., Tina), I always feel we’re “on the same side of the desk”. Without attacking or ridiculing, she inspires me to feel/think in a different way. . . Her courage, grounded in her heart and mind, was seen in a show a few months after 9/11. With great sensitivity she wove a piece around those events; she dedicated it to fostering the healing process in all of us.
– Annamaria Laverty, CMT and Energy Healing Practitioner
Tina at The Mercury Cafe, Denver CO, at conclusion of The Unlikely Enlightenment show